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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Artificial Tales Of Gleep And Whimsy (Vol. 2), Artificial Tales Of Gleep and Whimsy (Vol. 1), The Manta, Milk Carton People Situation, Consume The Position, There Is No Spoon (b) / Are We Near Bend?, Initial Ideas From Cassettes, Resurrected, A Happy Birthday Song, Everything Is Everywhere, and 73 more.
1. |
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IT WUZ LATE OCTOBRA / WE SWEAT A LOT IN HERE
It wuz late Octobra when the Captain Tank of Ralph Voyager 47 confiscated ah Sandra Piolet's, - confiscated ah Sandra Piolet's wax paper thesis on the origins and slightly altered myths of the epileptic trough-badoor and it's most misunderstood, I said it's most misunderstood counterpoint, the standard, I said the standard
CLOWN!
Lovely.
JT : It wuz late Octobra (laughs)...
ND : Yeah, right.
JT : When the Captain Tank of Ralph Voyager 47 confiscated, I said confiscated Sandra Piolet's wax paper thesis…
ND : Yeah, you did a good job on that. You, you had to double yourself. It took ya long time.
JT : Tripled it!
ND : Tripled it huh? Man...
JT : Quadrupled it!
ND : Really?
JT : Yeah. It was pretty cool.
ND : That's very difficult.
JT : It took a while but you know…
ND : But da, now it's quadrupled.
JT : Now it's quadrupled and ah… (there was no dbx by the way)
ND : I did something. I had something to do with that tape.
JT : Definitley.
ND : I don't remember what I did. Oh, I said that! I was the one - the original… No.
JT : Well, look at it this way : I had written some stuff out and I told you, I said read this.
ND : And I did.
JT : I said something stupid. I said, "Here." I just like say to you - I go : "Here read this - do this."
ND : And I, I did.
JT : And I expect you to do stuff. You know? Instantly.
ND : Yeah.
JT : So… And that's why…
ND : That' s a good idea. Read this. What can I read? What, what is in this house?
JT : Ah well, ah...
ND : Let's see ah...
JT : There's the dip shit special. (soft laughs)
ND : "Dinner Snips".
JT : Aw, ya gonna read that? That's awful.
ND : No it's not.
JT : It was funny when I first wrote it. I haven't looked at it in six years. It's probably pretty infantile.
ND : I'm just gonna pick a page at random.
JT : Ok.
ND : And here's a page now.
JT : Boy, this is embarrassing.
ND : Sri - S, R, I or Shrye.
JT : Sri. Sri. It's Sri.
ND : Would you like to read the other part of this?
JT : I don't know what's the other part?
ND : Or Latz. Sri or Latz or Ded or Mammory. Latz, Ded, Sri, Latz, Mammory (sniffs)
So I'll read the part of Sri…
The song "Just Can't Take it Anymore" plays :
Paranoia
Man, it's automatic
By the parkway, praying' for a clean escape while
Gingham blouses set your heart on fire
Just to tease you
Hopin' for another chump
And ya just can't take it anymore
'Cause ya workin' so hard and ya feelin' unsure
And ya just can't take it anymore
But something keeps you movin'
JT as Latz : Hey, doesn't Sri's hair look different?
ND as Ded : Yeah, it does! What do you do to it?
JT : Heh.
ND as Sri : I scar… I freeze dried it!
JT : (laughs) Heh, that's funny.
JT as Mammory : My mother called you know she said Papa keeps ah...
ND : And that's all that we're gonna read for now.
JT : That's about all. "Dinner Snips".
ND : So this is aye ah play isn't it?
JT : Well, it was an idea for a play.
ND : And it had music…
"Just Can't Take it Anymore" continues :
Aids confusion
Siren's in the shower
Lyin' clergy soaking' up the real estate and
Every "G man" plays so charasmatic
Pullin' G strings
Payin' off the mayor
And ya just can't take it anymore
'Cause ya workin' so hard and ya feelin' unsure
And ya just can't take it anymore
When your down with some friends and ya feelin' ignored
And ya just can't take it anymore
ND : I searched for a way to persuade her to give up these dreadful, materialistic ideas for some less imperious philosophy. But scarce, but scarcely had I begun
to give voice to this thought then she pushed me away in alarm! "Oh Forville!, she cried. "I beg you. Do not poison my final moments with your false beliefs. And let me die in peace. I do not loath them. My whole life through only them - embrace them on my deadeth bed and quibble that Stri might be forgotten. I thank you very much." And that was Woody Allen reads the Marquis DeSade (laughs), book two in a series of twenty seven thousand books.
Redneck JT : Ah, take those ah...
Redneck ND : Take this job and shove it!
Redneck JT : Take those galoshes and fry them!
(Knocking on the bedroom door)
ND : Hello?
Frank Tabacco : Ok
JT : So?
FT : Listen.
ND : Yeah.
FT : Jesus, you know with that window open it's still warm in here? Wow…
ND : Well, we got no…
JT : Christ!
ND : We don't have any cross ventilation. That's the problem.
FT : Hey you're ah…
ND : (opens another window) There.
FT : Pushing a lot of power here.
JT (gasps)
ND : Aww younly, no everything's off. Only one microphone is going.
JT : Ya gotta feed power.
ND : The amplifiers are off. Everything's off.
JT : Everything's off! What are you talking' about?
FT : You must have, you must - this can't all be state of the art here.
Ya gotta have tube stuff around some place.
ND : We have to have what stuff around?
FT : Tube stuff.
ND : The amplifiers are tube.
JT : Amplifiers are tube…
FT : Man, they must be drawing - giving off an awful lot of heat.
ND : They're shut off!
JT : We're not using them. They're shut off.
ND : The only thing that's using is one cassette deck.
FT : It's gotta be 20% warmer tan it is out here even with that window open?
ND : That's 'cause we sweat a lot.
FT : Oh, is that what it is?
ND : Yeah, we put a lot of sweat into this.
JT : Body heat.
ND : Contrary to popular belief we sweat a lot in here.
FT : Ok. Good.
ND : Contrary to popular belief we sweat a lot in here.
FT : Ok. Good.
JT : Body heat.
ND : Contrary to popular belief we sweat a lot in here.
FT : Ok. Good.
ND : Yeah, we put a lot of sweat into this.
Contrary to popular belief we sweat a lot in here.
FT : Ok
JT : Body heat.
ND : Contrary to popular belief we sweat a lot in here.
(A sped up intro from Captain Beefheart's "Dirty Blue Gene" plays here.)
ND : Yeah, we put a lot of sweat into this.
JT : Body heat.
FT : Ok. Good.
ND : Contrary to popular belief we sweat a lot in here.
FT : Ok. Your mother and I are going out after that.
ND : Alright.
FT : Ok?
ND : Yup.
JT : After what?
ND : See ya later. After they explode their shoes. (laughs)
JT : After we explode me an Ma are going out.
ND : Let me ask you a question. What exactly did you mean when you said, "Don't do that Cheryl my shoe will explode."
JT : What did I mean?
ND : That was a sexual reference.
JT : Yeah, that was a sexual reference.
ND : Ok. I wasn't sure.
JT : It was. (laughs) That was…
ND : She, she got it too. That's the thing.
JT : (gasps) No!
ND : She said… I know. She said, she said, "Ha, ha, ha, ha." She laughed is what she did.
JT : I'll tell ya that was strange thing because I… that was one of those things that just came out. I didn't think...
ND : And then - and then you thought of it. Oh wow, a sexual reference. Sure my shoe will explode. Absolutely.
JT : It's not something I do.
ND : (sarcastically ) Oh no, you don't do that.
JT : I don't play games...
ND : I'm a little elf...
Jackie : Yhum cheeseburger? Yhum cheeseburger?
ND : (singing) Checking things out! Ya comin' in on ten?
( Intro to "Hiding Behind A String" plays here)
JT : Yeah.
ND : It is hah?
JT : Ah haaa oh yeah. I'm, I'm like saying' things.
ND : But you don't know if it's true.
JT : No, actually it's comin' in on eight.
ND : Oh. it is.
JT : (singing) It's coming in on eight.
ND : Oh it is. Is it? (singing) Checking things out. Tryin' to make think about something.
JT : About lovin'!
ND : Come on. Do me a favor. You just come up with tune that sounds hip and I'll sing to it.
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2. |
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CHECK YOURSELF OUT / YOUR CHECK HAS BOUNCED
Back in the gray years
Back in the salad days
There were many mistakes dear
I was naïve and lead astray
Well now I am new-age
Yeah now I am hip to know
What is a lie dear and what is the truth that will let me go
Check yourself out
Don't let anyone abuse you
Check yourself out
If the motives are greed
Check yourself out
If your lookin' for answers
Check yourself out
You'll find all that you need
Check yourself out
There's a new set of chances
Check yourself out
And the world will be yours tonight!
Jackie : Ah Ha, Ha, Hawwwwwwwwww!
The Priest : Check out these amoebas Phillup!
Jackie : Cheesburger?
But you got to believe it children...
The Priest : Heh - heh- That's right!
Back in the gray years
Jackie : Ah Ha, Ha, Hawwwwwwwwww!
Back in the salad days
There were many, many mistakes dear
Jackie : Cheesburger?
I was so naïve and lead astray
Jackie : Cheesburger? Ah Ha, Ha, Hawwwwwwwwww!
The Priest : That's right!
Jackie : Cheesburger? Cheesburger?
Jackie : Ah Ha, Ha, Hawwwwwwwwww!
The Priest : And every time I wonder what Phillup's doing with the children
I get really angry because he usually wastes them on stupid little things
like moving things up into the attic when there is no attic at all.
I told you once.
Hey Miss Breslin just let me check it out. The expiration date is all I need.
Yeah, just, just gimmie that Mastercard or whatever ya got there.
I told you once.
I told you once.
I told you once.
I told you once.
I told you once.
I told you once.
I told you once.
I told you once.
I told you once.
I told you once.
Telephone answering machine messages :
Mr. Roy from Mastercard. Your check has bounced Mr. Geedah.
This is the last time.
This is Richard Shaefer calling from G.E. Capital for Mr. Geedahsto.
Ah, we received a check from you just a couple of days ago ah,
which we were glad to see but it has ah, been returned to us with insu…
for ah, non payment Mr. Geedah. Please call us to explain. Thank you.
This is Peter Escavante calling from American General ah, for ah, Geedah Mustpha.
Ah, we received a check ah, from you which has bounced. Ah, please call us immediately at 1-800 - 209-353. Please call us right away. This is of serious concern Mr. Geedah.
$639,000 dollars and you're still alive.
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3. |
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IT IS IMPORTANT TO RECOGNIZE THE CIRCUMSTANCES - PAGE 396
It is important to recognize the circumstance - page three, nine, six.
It is important to recognize the circumstance - page three, nine, six.
Page three, nine, six.
It is important to recognize the circumstance - page three, nine, six.
It is important to recognize the circumstance - page three, nine, six.
It is important to recognize the circumstance
It is important to recognize the circumstance
It is important as baking some bagels!
Page three, ninety, six?
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4. |
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THERE'S A RUMOR SPREADIN' "ROUND
Eye yeye yeye yeye yahhhh
There's a rumors spreading' round where all the fevers grow
Ya got alga mated seals starvin' Eskimoes
It's not a pretty scene and I'll tell you why
Ya got Ayatolla beams and the evil eye that's goin' down
Yeah, the evil eye that's goin' downnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Jungle babies cry - no snake to eat
Fatty let it die doin' the trick or treat
It never deed a deed for goodness sake
He always got a watch and a piece of cake for goin' down
yeah, a piece of cake just for goin' down
Now when you wanna try somthin' new
When you wanna try something made for pin heads
Wanna try something new
Reflect upon the crap you do
Gotta 'flect upon the crap you blew (in little bitty pieces)
700 Clubs to clean your hands
Just don't forget to kneel when you're at the Sands
If ya wanna draw a pair just pork the bull
Ah, Mineola snuff dressed in tiger wool that's goin' 'round
Yeah, tiger wool,
Ah, that goin' 'round
But if you wanna try somethin' new
If ya wanna try something made for pin heads
Wanna try something new
Reflect upon the crap you do
Reflect upon the crap you blew
Ok, solo!
Do what? Do what? Do what? Do what?
My baby! My baby!
Wait a minute. It's right up - your hole here. Wait a minute.
Some guy tells a story on the radio :
I put the ice in the glass you? We were paling games. We were drinking a little soda, having a good time. Aunt Mary was looking at us, smiling.
(Sure)
She said, "Be careful!" She says, "Don't dirty up the yard and don't mess up the garden." You know, 'cause she worked so hard in the garden. Ya ever know, ah, a backyard in Brooklyn without having at least a little "a-go'nah".
Hey! Heroshma! Hey- a…
JT : Look I'm positive I like to have friends around...
(cat scratching)
Ow!
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5. |
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SCHOOL OF SNACK RHYTHM
Sri : Good evening. Our most holy lady of Matitas led us down to the sacred circumscribed archway point which laid astronomically parallel to the Everly Brother's sketch book.
(Bye, bye love!)
The personally autographed video memory capsules we concealed at the beginning of this dangerous journey were erased without our consent and exploited on fine chalk statuettes. Each one coated with a mystical cake fluid. Radiant among lovers we fell to our innards resting our weary infartras and bowimples. In a spark of gasperation which I had never experienced before, I whipped out my bible punching affidavit and gave the nun a quick "Charleston Heston". She tumbled to the ground falling over her habit, flapping up dust and landing firmly on a pew. Unobtrusively we berated ourselves and the nun with the fine cakey fluid. Shortly after a harsh awakening our Lady of Matitas admitted openly to re-infornifacation and we were forced to reveal on her (it was only fair), the secret identity and whereabouts of : GENETTA CRAIG LAMOREHEAD!
Yes, the same Craig Lamorehead who founded the first shadow boxing clinic in Northpot.
The first lounge club of internal carrot rot.
The first widely accepted (in Europe only) school of re-moveable thighs and plankton fading technique.
The bogus school of intestinal toilet brushes and pedestrian pie plate, computer feed backers.
And of course the most notorious of all schools. The famed school of SNACK RHYTHM!
Sorry! SORRY!
JS : Humm, cheeseburger? Humm, cheeseburger? Humm, cheeseburger?
Humm, cheeseburger? Humm, cheeseburger? Humm, cheeseburger?
ND : (laughing) They traded in the dog. They had a dog and the guy's pissed off because he - they don't want it now and they can't sell it to anybody else. 'Cause he's like you know, it's got tubes and stuff coming out of it. It's gotta carry around a little power supply and shit. They traded it in for a Kenmore™ like washing machine because it looked more like a dog! (laughs)
Oh shit!
JT / ND : (uncontrollable laughter)
ND : Think about a fucking washing machine that looks, it looks more like a dog! Hahahaha! Like they would even say "Dog"! HAH! Like they would even say, "Well, yeah that looks a lot more like the dog, let's get that!" They wouldn't even go buy another dog.
JT : That's funny man.
ND : It's so stupid they wouldn't just go buy another dog. Instead they buy a washing machine 'cause it looks more like a dog. (side splitting laughter)
Oh shit!
Improv. #27 (from the Akai Years)
Ded : Hi honey I'm home!
LT (reading the Ded part from "Dinner Snips") : The days are so long and tiresome. I, I don't, I don't know, I'd like like to get out of this rat race. Did you see the price of gas? I don't understand it, the line was still mile long.
Sri : Who care?
Ded : Well, you wouldn't! I think? (laughs) You're too busy with your goddamn music! Get a job and see how tough it is!
Sri : Bite my fists!
JT / LT as Mammory : Your father's right John. You shouldn't complain. You're lucky you didn't have to! (laughs) I said… It's a doll Frankie. It was a Bru. You know I saw it in the window. It was at the antique infirmary. Pearl says…
Middle School Orchestra Conductor : I'm sick and tired of this! I'm gonna go get a drink of water!
"Cheeseburger Theme #2" plays here
JS : Humm, cheeseburger? Humm, cheeseburger?
ND as the typical blue collar construction guy : Go? Oh. Most of the milk left in the bottoms of the carton was used for killing rabbits. A rabbit like any other mollusk is only shatter proof to an internal temperature of 250 degrees Celsius. But a mouse with it's extra legs and impeccably clean towels is often used in conjunction with a pressure cooker to generate a mean serum pressure of 75,000 pounds per square inch. So, if your looking for a good time and you don't wanna spend much money, why not try something creative, with a mouse? Cram a hunk of carbide the size of your pinky in to his left nostril and watch what happens to his little brain. Yeaha. It's a lot of fun. (Turning to the producer) Is that it? I'd like to do something from Carmen now.
Ectoplasm : Dowhat? Dowhat? Dowhat?
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6. |
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THICK BLACK ARABIAN FLIES
Thick!
Black!
Arabian!
Flies!
I'll dry up when I feel like cloning but now it's time to mow the roof
Organically set to rigorous degrees on faulty desires for my knees
I remain aloof from
Thick!
Black!
Arabian!
Flies!
Huhhhhhhh...
An Akai, cartoon cowboy piece plays here...
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7. |
I Luv Summer
03:59
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I LOVE SUMMER !
I've had enough of freezin my butt and shovelin' out my door
I've had enough of walkin' to work in the dead of cold
There's nothin' about a blizzard that can make me wanna laugh
Some of us like to slide around but that's not me
I LOVE SUMMER
I LOVE SUMMER
I LOVE A SUMMER'S DAY!
I LOVE SUMMER
I LOVE SUMMER
I LOVE A SUMMER'S DAY!
I've had enough of the heating bills and icicles on my head
I've had enough of ridin' around with the tank top on
There's too many colds to speak about
And too much stale air to breathe
Some of us like the windows shut but that's not me
Now winter's fine for Christmas and ice skating once and a while
But over coats and snow shoes, they're not my kind of style 'cause
I LOVE SUMMER
I LOVE SUMMER
I LOVE A SUMMER'S DAY!
I LOVE SUMMER
I LOVE SUMMER
I LOVE A SUMMER'S DAY!
s'cuse me while I whip this out..
Now maybe you like a fireplace and stokin' a fiery mess
Some of like to see our breath but that's not me!
Just give me a raft, a cooler of draft and picnic delight for two
Summers are hot but like it or not you can always hit the pool
Well
I LOVE SUMMER
I LOVE SUMMER
I LOVE A SUMMER'S DAY!
I LOVE SUMMER
I LOVE SUMMER
I LOVE A SUMMER'S DAY!
I love summer in the morning and the girl's out on the beach
She sure looks tight
We can make out here all night
I love Summer
WELL, I LOVE A SUMMER'S DAY!
Well
I LOVE SUMMER
I LOVE SUMMER
I LOVE A SUMMER'S DAY!
I LOVE SUMMER
I LOVE SUMMER
I LOVE A SUMMER'S DAY!
We're picking up good vibrations.
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8. |
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FLAME IN MY HEART / THESE LARGE AMOEBAS AND RAZIOR BLADES / STRAT RAPE
ND : Supersonic, idiotic, brain infected, disinfected dumb bell
Double dearly disconnected, rubber belly super pipe.
JT : Super Pipe!
ND sings : Super fly was a gradualated overtone.
Gave me something worth the money in his draws.
"Gimmie some buzz", said the bitch with ugly erectorfier
(he could do her)
Maybe you can come up and give me something that might be yours.
I don't feel like money this afternoon
I don't feel like giving you something new
I don't feel like money this afternoon
It's for you
It's for you
I don't feel like giving you money this…
'Cause you know it's not your game
I might just explode all your memories with this electric flame
Duh, flame in my heart is bursting with love
Flame in my heart is a Dan Robinson tune
Flame in my heart is bursting with love
And it's all for you
All for you
All for you
All for you
Youuuuuuuuu
Youuuuuuuuuuuu!
JT : Ain't talkin' about Fontana!
Tortured Midget : Ewyeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Sebastian : How do you get a tiger in a tank?
I said. "I don't know?" He says, "ya kick 'em in the gas hole!"
LT : Trees! Trees!
C.B : Case of the punks!
JT : TV's just a game…
Phillup : These large amoebas came, crept up on (laughs) crept up on us…
The Priest : I'm telling ya…
Phillup : (gasps) It's the truth! Listen!
The Priest : There were these large amoebas and they…
(Phillup and the Priest crack up)
They carried pitchforks! (laughs)
Phillup : What does that have to do with the six dogs that you've slaughtered?
The Priest : Look! It was an accident.
Phillup : I thought they were…
The Priest : He fell on his knife seventeen times!
Phillup : Ha ha ha ha!
The Priest : It was an accident.
Philup : It was an accident. I have this, this umm wha, what do they call these?
The Priest : Bell warner!
Phillup : Trampoline devices. I told him, "Look. if ya gonna play on the trampoline (cracks up)
The Priest : I told him. If I told him once. I told him a thousand times. (they both crack up)
Phillup : The dog's home...
If your gonna jump up and down on a trampoline,
make sure you take razor blades out of your mouth!
- 1988 STRAT RAPE - plays here…
ND : Ok.
JT : Mouse.
ND : Now we're back in the room with no effects at all.
JT : (sings) My...
ND : It's a dry signal.
JT : It's a dry signal.
ND : It's a dry signal.
JT : Colonel Kaddafi…
ND : Colonel Kaddafi was loaded up that afternoon
into small witch store but loaded up into a punch button
that couldn't expel itself.
JT : Punch button that couldn't expel itself
Halph,Halph,Halph.Halph,Halph,Halph
ND : It couldn't expel itself, It couldn't expel itself,
It couldn't expel itself
CLICK!
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9. |
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DATE NUTS WING NUTS ANY KIND OF NUTS / MEET THE PRIEST
Date nuts
Wing nuts
Any kind of nuts
Date nuts
Wing nuts
Any kind of nuts
Harry Harrison
Harry Harrison
Need your love!
Date nuts
Wing nuts
Any kind of nuts
Date nuts
Wing nuts
Any kind of nuts
Harry Harrison
Harry Harrison
Need your love!
Mazzola! Corn goodness
Mazzola! Corn goodness
Mostly out of luck I take a chance
Theraputically I'll spread a phrase with sugar snakes and polonaise
And all for the sake of laughs
I hereby maif in Cherokee
Date nuts
Wing nuts
Any kind of nuts
Date nuts
Wing nuts
Any kind of nuts
Harry Harrison
Harry Harrison
Need your love!
Date nuts
Wing nuts
Any kind of nuts
Date nuts
Wing nuts
Any kind of nuts
Harry Harrison
Harry Harrison
Need your love!
Mazzola! Corn goodness
Mazzola! Corn goodness
Hey, hey - goodness
Harry Harrison
Harry Harrison
Need your love
Need your loveeeeeeeeeeeeowwwwwwww
ND : CLICK!
Yo Oxenhandler : Why was I not there when you burst into flames?
Why was I not there when you took all the blame?
ND : CLICK!
JT : (An Akai sickness spreads)
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUHGHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHUH!
ND : This is Mr. Beanstorm being electrocuted by a small witch...
JT : Beanstorm… We are standing from the desert...
ND : Standardized by ah...
JT : Ah electriconica… Metamoprhoes… Gasbags!
ND : Gasbags!
JT : Gasbags! Phillup!
ND : Phillup!
JT : Owww! Sonofabitch Phillup!
ND : CLICK
(Excerpt from "Fellow Pinheads" plays here):
So we iz pinbrains
And air feted PEOPLE!
We know our goal
TO FLOG YER POLE!
Lalalalalalalalala lalalalalalalala
Sure does
Sure does
ND : CLICK! (sings) I love the Priest!
JT : Beast the Priest
ND : (sings) Meet the Priest at midnight - I love that tune!
JT : He'll have some for you
ND : I love that tune about the Priest.
JT : I like that tune.
ND : Yeah, I know.
JT :(sings) Whip him up.
ND : Whip him … (laughs) Whip it up
JT (continues singing) He's under "B's" for blue light
ND : What the hell does that mean?
JT : Show you what to do.
ND : Show you what to do.
JT : (singing) Feed the beast by daylight…
ND : They were just talking'.
Akai vocal harmonies : LEGGGGGGG!
Jackie : Ah HA HA HAwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
The Priest : Very nice Phillup, now get back into the closet!
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10. |
The Boy Had A Tongue
03:02
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THE BOY HAD A TONGUE
The boy had a tongue but nobody listened
Everybody thought he was a slime
The boy had a tongue but nobody listened
Even when the crab patrol resigned
They made excuses and deliberate lies
Tried to jail his mind until he saw the signs
But that didn't work
No it only made him stronger
Now he's up to seven on a one to nine
When he reaches the top - look out
He's gonna weed those suckers out
'Cause the boy had a tongue but nobody would listen to him
Nope
Nobody would...
The boy had a need but nobody fed it
Ya see? Everybody tried to twist his arm
The boy had a need but nobody fed it
Yeah, they dressed him up just like a gilded Juan
Made him eat the fashion till he stomached it down on the lawn
Stashed him in a mold and tried to make'em like a senator's pawn
They gave him special "beaters" from a little white man
Yeah, a little white man
Yeah, a little white man
Whooooooooooooooo?
Now he's the priest at midnight!
Yeah, the boy had a tongue but nobody listened
The boy had a tongue but nobody listened
The boy had a tongue but nobody listened
The boy had a tongue but nobody listened!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Nobody listened
Nobody listened
Yeah, the boy had a tongue
Yeah, but nobody listened
Yeah, the boy had a tongue
Nobody would listen
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11. |
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A CARTOON ACCIDENT / TIME FOR THE HARMONICA WAY / PROTEUS HOEDOWN /
GIRLS WITHOUT PEARLS
JT : I heard about that - that ah, series of wet dream pills that you…
ND : Wet dream pills?
JT : You know? The anvil types?
ND : The ah Advil™ wet dream pills.
JT : No, the "anvil" types.
ND : Oh the anvil types! (laughs)
JT : Yeah these, these suckers..
ND : The anvil! These were heavy pills man.
JT : They weigh, weigh you down in the lake.
ND : These were a real knock out, these pills. They were hefty.
JT : Louie the loop and Veron, Veronica Lape.
ND : Louie the loop and Veronica Lape.
JT : Heh.
ND: Veronica Lip. (kiss fx)
Veronica Lip was electrocuted last Wednesday in a - in a cartoon accident. (laughs)
G.P : What? What?
Phillup : I'm losing my mascara!
The Priest : Ah Phillup.
Phillup : Yeah.
The Priest : A - ha ha, I don't...I don't want to hurt you but a…
Phillup : Colloquialism
The Priest : Oh. Harmonica. (laughs)
JT : Ah ha! Uh oh.
ND : This is a rare…
JT : He was encrusted...
ND :This is a very rare occurrence.
JT : He's encrusted with an idea. (laughs)
ND : (laughs) At that moment in time Nick was encrusted by a small idea.
JT : Where'd you buy that… (laughs)
ND (blows on harmonica) :
JT : Hey, ya lights on!
ND (still blowing harmonica)
JT : Mammy! (clapping hands)
ND : (singing) Don't know why I wanted to hurt them.?
(Backwards Akai GX 4000-D entanglement plays here)
ND : (still blowing harmonica softly with JT playing the PF 70 keyboard)
ND (improvising lyrics) :
Josie was an open kind of fluid girl
She never knew just the kind of thing ya wanna screech at
Gimmie some of those boys in the back room by the florist that day
Maybe one of these boys electrocute his little toys
You could open up a world of flavor - heh -
Keep it open my girl and let them boys with the green on in
Let'em in
'Cause you know it's just a day at the florist
And you know it's not a game for tourists
But if you let me in you know I gotta sound like Carl Wilson
Carl Wilson
Maybe I could open up the world of good
This might be the only Carl Wilson neighborhood
JT : Wow!
ND : You don't know why they like to play
It's time for the harmonica way, yeah
(Nick blows the harmonica furiously)
JT : Yeah!
ND : You don't what's happening
JT : It's loaded.
ND : But it's true that I'm overloading this tape deck with my shoe
JT : (laughs)
ND : And I think it might benefit you
PROTEUS HOEDOWN plays here...
GIRLS WITHOUT PEARLS
With a wallet and whip I am sure to be hip to these girls
But they really get off being tied to a trough full of pearls
Hey, some can't live without it
How would their lives be whole without a pearl
A girl without a pearl
Unthinkable
Precisely why you'll be a donor
Deny them that and you'll stay a loner
Catch a fish
Snag one for Jonah
Whatcha wait' for boy?
Ya got a box with no legs?
JS : Ah Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
The Priest : Very nice Phillup. Not get back in the closet!
|
||||
12. |
||||
|
They used to call it inspired comic lunacy. Now they call it Thurmoil.
|
||||
13. |
||||
|
GORGO TWAIN HAS GONE HAHWHIN
For Scotto many years later. Who would have guessed?
Gorgo Twain has gone Ha-why-in
For soiled man's delight - all the chalcid you can eat
There's perfect beads of sleep on Sunday water
There's perfect ashtray take outs by the sea
They have you're special brand of photo's and socks
No need for a watch
Time is not inflicted in the banyan
And best of all they got an existential shower cap eraser guaranteed
To lighten up the load!
Best of all they got an existential shower cap eraser guaranteed
To lighten up the load!
Gorgo Twain has gone Hah-why-in
For a sweet and sour chassis after four
There's perfect jeux to pit against your ego
Depends on where and when you drop the straw
Ahh, breakfast anytime by the poolside cafe!
Exalted soufflés!
While ya buster it about with another cutie
And best of all they got an existential shower cap eraser guaranteed
To lighten up the load!
Toads!
Best of all they got an existential shower cap eraser guaranteed
To lighten up the load!
Nice to have our home here
Gorgo sez that...
Gorgo sez we all should try it once, twice, Christ!
Gorgo Twain has gone Hah-why-in
For soiled man's delight - all the broccoli you can eat
There's perfect beads of sleep on crunchy water
There's perfect ashtray take outs by the sea
Ahh, breakfast anytime by the poolside cafe!
Exalted soufflés!
While ya buster it about with another cutie
And best of all they got an existential shower cap eraser guaranteed
To lighten up the load!
Toads!
And best of all they got an existential shower cap eraser guaranteed
To lighten up the load!
Toads!
best of all they got an existential shower cap eraser guaranteed
|
||||
14. |
||||
|
SOUND IS GOOD FUN
Danny Kaye : And then we have a little duck. And for a duck - an oboe!
Fred Blassey : (Shocked) Owwwwwwwwwwwwww...
JT / LT : Sound is fun (2,3,4). I like it (2,3,4). I like fun (2,3,4).
Sound is good fun (2,3,4). Most fun I guess is sound, so it's fun to like (2,3,4). Sounds funny don't it ?(2,3,4). Question mark! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
JT : And if you buy one now, you get two free later!
Sound is good fun?
Harry Shearer : Why not try?
LT : Yeah but...
|
||||
15. |
||||
|
IF IT DON'T WORK DON'T FIX IT
JS : Ah ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!
If it don't work, don't fix it
Give up
Go to another place
If it don't work, don't fix it
If it don't work, it's broken
Forget it, go back home and start a new place
(Lydian Song snippet)
ND : Heh ha ha haaa
If it don't work, don't fix it
Gotta move on to make yourself a better place heh-heh... actually another place...
If it don't work, don't fix it
Hope that tomorrow will be another franchise
Bishop Townsley Choir : Ohhhhhhhh
Everybody says you must be out of your mind to try to do music.
It's such a beautiful thing to do there's no possible way you could do it for that long and have a good time because it's not fair to everybody else who has to work a 9 to 5 grind.
Ohohohohohohohohohooooooooooooo!
Somewhere over there I contend there's a voice of a painter
with a shower cap eraser in his hand
ND : Ah, Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha, Ha
JT : Ah huh ha ha ha haaaa! Goes the little music box and the girl tries to sing and guy tries to get her a record deal or something on Star Search. And he's so old and he's so stupid and he still lives in 1956. And he wears a suit and he came from Julliard and he knows all about pop music today. In fact, his wife is giving a course at his house teaching little girls to sing the ballerina dancer too! Every youngster should sing it too. I've seen it. I've experienced...
Alien House : Nearbonnueitz...
ND : This is the Almost News with anchor persons Carol Becker and Don Fagen and weather guy Nick Katz.
CLICK!
|
||||
16. |
Tropical Breeze
05:00
|
|||
|
TROPICAL BREEZE
The subway kaboom through my pillow
has gotten way out of hand
Making my move to this jungle hasn’t been easy - No!
Though I’ve climbed atop the heap
and some say I should be proud
All I see is all I used to be and it’s all so clear!
Tropical breeze the horns were blowing
Bottles dancing - wading in the river
Life was so easy
friends were so deep
and the nights were cool as crow
Tropical breeze the horns were blowing
Bottles dancing - wading in the river
Life was so easy
people were sweet under city lights of gold
Pressure from angles above me in each direction I turn (I turn... I turn...)
Mass revisions and fast decisions churned everyday!
People riding on my words
It’s a rush that feels so right
But sometimes my thoughts are clouded by the sight of the past!
Tropical breeze the horns were blowing
Bottles dancing - wading in the river
Life was so easy
friends were so deep
and the nights were cool as crow
Tropical breeze the horns were blowing
Bottles dancing - wading in the river
Life was so easy
friends were so deep
While the city lights would glow...
While the city lights would glow.
Some play the time warp
It’s a game that’s quick to please
But having the riches of both worlds may stop the itching to always achieve
Tropical breeze (tropical breeze)
I say now Tropical breeze (tropical breeze)
Tropical breeze
Wanna go back
Don’t wanna leave here!
Tropical breeze the horns were blowing
Bottles dancing - wading in the river
Life was so easy
friends were so deep
and the nights were cool as crow
Tropical breeze - I said now tropical breeze
I got the biggest tropical breeze in the world
If you want it you can get it but ya gotta give me lots of money
|
||||
17. |
||||
|
CP : This record is happening' or not happening' based on who likes it
and who's friends with us and wants us to succeed.
I mean Lem does not want this record to happen. That's my opinion.
I don't know what it is. I don't know whether he had a problem -
I don't know whether he had a problem with Stewie Best.
Or he's expecting us to do something that we're not doing.
Or he's expecting us to do something that we're not doing.
Or he's expecting us to do something that we're not doing.
'Cause I'm not doing anything.
Jim Dexter : (laughs)
All the money that I'm spending you know about.
|
||||
18. |
||||
|
IT'S GONNA TAKE THE BEST OF YOU
It's gonna take the best of you
It's gonna take the strength of two
It's gonna take the best of you
And I am sure we just can't lose
It's gonna take the best of you
It's gonna take the strength of two
It's gonna take the best of you
And either way we just can't lose
We wuz out on the dole line
Just living and scraping and faking our way
We were - we were sweating on the fault line
Praying and screaming and tracking the waves
But now the plans are drawn up
And all of the alien walls are down
Baby please don't give up
Pretty soon we will have it all
But it's gonna take the best of you
It's gonna take the strength of two
It's gonna take the best of you
I know that we can see it through
It's gonna take the best of you
It's gonna take the strength of two
There's a house by the seaside (a house by the seaside)
Just waiting and begging for me and for you
Will be - will be off to a new high
Exploring the angles we never had time
'Cause now the plans are drawn up
And all of the alien walls are down
It's much to close to give up
Pretty soon we will have it all
But it's gonna take the best of you
It's gonna take the strength of two
It's gonna take the best of you
And either way we just can't lose
It's gonna take the best of you
It's gonna take the strength of two
It's gonna take the best of you
Don't you worry
There's always a problem to face
Don't you worry
You should know that it's only a phase
But it's gonna take the best of you
It's gonna take the strength of two
It's gonna take the best of you
I know that we can see it through
It's gonna take the best of you
It's gonna take the strength of two
It's gonna take the best of you
I know that we can see it through
It's gone take the best, the best, the best, the best,
The best of you
|
||||
19. |
||||
|
WHEN THE DIGIT FIN REBOUNDS IN GLORY / EKHOES OF A SPIRIT
When the digit fin rebounds in glory
Stipulations of the planetoids regress
No bag of tricks
No Bible stories will forever wear a sanitary dress
Oh when the strainer sighs a fiery smile
Then lion tamer prepare to swallow the child within you
The child continues
When the digit fin opens the closet
Snapshots of politician jags doin’ the deed
Embarrassmental claustrophobic corn hole the operation tactics from the creed
Red are the pages in between the cold black and white
Each by a stranger we dream of choking at night in nightmares
At night we send flares
"Love To Love Ya Baby" vamp plays here while JT sings :
It's gonna take the best of you
It's gonna take the strength of two
It's gonna take the best of you
And either way we just can't lose
Six grader with a frog suit.
Unfortunately I can't peel it off. It hurts.
Drop it. Drop it right now.
It hurts. It's hurting.
Ruth
A plant
A meat like thing
A pig
A small chip
A fish in the sky
How 'bout a dish in the sand?
A little girl with one leg
A little Neumann microphone about the size of your pinky
With a very ant like wing
Cookie
I'm the kind of guy who likes to full around with lint
(flippers)
I'm the kind of guy who likes to take a fork
Balharrrbalabla
I'm the kind of guy who likes to say the word "mint"
(mint)
I ain't got no friends
Ain't no wonder why
Ekos of a spirit can't you hear me sing that T.O.M.B
Ekos of a spirit can't you hear me cry in'?
Ekos of a spirit can't you hear me sing that T.O.M.B
Ekos of a spirit can't you hear me cry in'?
I'm the kind of guy who likes to play tent
(let's play)
Likes to wander in the grass on a sunny afternoon
(Thursday)
Take my galoshes and my Snowcaps™ are in lint
(squeeze them)
Make sure that my face is scrubbed in kangaroo
Ekos of a spirit can't you see me sing that T.O.M.B
Ekos of a spirit can't you see me cry in'?
Ekos of a spirit can't you see me sing that T.O.M.B
Ekos of a spirit can't you see me cry in'?
Ekos of a spirit can't you hear me sing this T.O.M.B
Ekos of a spirit can't you?
When the promise of a source refrains
Then a promise is a worth-ful claim
Twist and yeller for that precious dame
Seeks the manhole with the silly name
Geek chorus :
Nevertheless it's a guess
It's a hit or miss
Sometimes it's a waste of your gas, I guess
Chris Pati : Does it sound anything beyond interesting to you?
Joe Remson : Whadya mean?
CP : Well… I mean ah… What do I mean? Sounds like someone who a
is not very interested in seeing this record happen.
JR : Sounds like someone is not very interested?
CP : That's what ti sounds like to me.
Geek chorus :
Nevertheless it's a guess
It's a hit or miss
Sometimes it's a waste of your gas, I guess
("Only In A Dream" track plays in the background here)
CP : We have to decide you know, what's going on here.
Or try to find out, I think. Don't you? I mean doesn't this sound horribly sarcastic to you? It does to me, man.
JR : Ah yeah. The, the pleadings part I…
CP : The seeing - the seeing...
JR : I would like to bring that in Monday to Rich and find out who sent that.
CP : And it says..
JR : What exactly he meant by it.
CP : … "a small percentage" and "seeing what they can do", in quotes.
It's like all these nasty things are like in quotes!
JR : I know.
CP : "Really sympathetic" in quotes. And seeing what they can do to add as a "favor". In other words well, we'll add it just as a favor.
In other words they don't like the record but they're doing it as a favor to Lem.
JR : Right.
CP : I mean… I don't think it has anything to do with being a major.
I think it has to do with very simply we're not doing what a lot of people - other people do. Which I, I've had not any indication from anybody in a higher place than me that we have to do it.
Geek chorus :
Nevertheless it's a guess
It's a hit or miss
Sometimes it's a waste of your gas, I guess
Jim Dexter : (laughs) REALLY ANCIENT PHOTOGRAPHS plays here :
JT sings :
Highway 64
A thousand miles above the sea level tumbling' on my own - again
The circle crops are plenty and very much the same I've known and loved
Standing right above…
Mr X sings:
God told me to live next store to Imus!
God told me to live next store to Imus!
Well, it was either God or the devil
It was probably the devil
It was probably the devil
It was probably the devil
Uh, it was probably the devil
Uh, it was probably the devil
|
||||
20. |
||||
|
Highway 64
A thousand miles above the sea level tumbling on my own again
The circle crops are plenty and very much the same I've known and loved
Standing right above...
God told me to live next door to IMUS!
|
||||
21. |
Carrot Talk 1987
01:44
|
|||
|
CARROT TALK 1987
JT : A pizza. A pizza's always a good thing for us to eat.
Chris Pati : Yeah.
Deena Charles : Yeah.
CP : He has a very strange reaction to carrots.
DC : Ever.
CP : Carrots are like - carrots brighten up your day.
JT : I had a carrot this morning and it just completely changed my life.
DC : Your kidding!
(laughter)
JT : I'm not kidding.
(DC laughing)
JT : It's true. It might be like the lack of vitamin A or something like that.
It really gets me on the right track. Mayonnaise - forget it.
DC : A heh hahahahaha, maybe you were a, a rabbit in another life or something?
(laughther)
JT : Something like that.
CP : I heard that before actually.
JT : Yeah, right.
CP : That's an interesting comment.
JT : Hum, hum.
DC (laughs) We'll talk about a that later…
JT : Rodents
DC : I'd like..
JT : Go head.
DC : Ah hah - Rodents. Umm.. Heh heh, you guys are so much fun.
How do you do relax when...
|
||||
22. |
Hey, Do I Look Familiar?
02:57
|
|||
|
HEY, DO I LOOK FAMILIAR?
Hey, do I look familiar?
Could it be that i was once your friend?
Hey, do I look familiar?
Or do all your bozos seem to blend?
Hey, do I look familiar?
Could it be that i was once your past?
Hey, do I look familiar?
Have you seen your big mistake at last?
Well, the Fourth of July makes me ill
The Fourth of July always will
Go find yourself another standard clown!
Hey, do I look familiar?
Could it be that i was once your friend?
Hey, do I look familiar?
Have you seen your big mistake at last?
We're losin' time
Ahh, you've wasted mine
Hey, do I look familiar?
Could it be that I was once your friend?
Hey, do I look familiar baby?
The Fourth of July still makes me ill
We're losin' time
Ahh, you've wasted mine
|
||||
23. |
Bobbie Dear
05:23
|
|||
|
BOBBIE DEAR
Police in helicopter :
X : I think that's the body.
Y : Jesus.
X : That's her.
Y : Alright let's go in.
Been at least ten years or so since Bobbie dear's been dead
Had a vision just last night of her singing in my bed
How time can blur those precious moments that we spend
Counting reasons not to cry
Feeling dizzy
I could...
Lie around forever in this state of deja-vu
Hating all creation for the torture she went through
Just a tiny gem who liked to sing to my guitar
But all the science and the prayers can never bring her back
Is this something I must live with till I'm dead?
Till I'm dead
Kissed her in the morning as I headed out for Grace
It was a perfect peaceful picture both our lives were set in place
Somewhere down the sunset, heard her screaming out my name
It was the darkest deepest screaming ever etched inside my brain
And I loved her so
Oh I loved her so
Oh I loved her so
And all the reasons and the whys
They keep on spinning
Hissing
Burning
Twisting
Churning in my head...
In my head
In my head
IN MY HEAD!
Oh I loved her so
Oh I loved her so
Oh I loved her so
Loved her so
|
||||
24. |
||||
|
EVEN A FLY CAN BE BLIND
All those days and horny nights we stayed together
Jesus on the dashboard in a bag (Heh-heh)
You were still inflated when the bus came rollin' in
And I found your Porcelona™ 'neath the liner of my chin
Like some children in a Barbie "campulator"
We were mind in' my own business like we do
Your father called the jury
I felt like Peter Lori
And there you were this cry in' ape
Shoutin' "Sue!" and "Brutal rape!"
You know even a fly can be blind
As long as there is honey, it's temptation through and through
Lord, even a fly can be blind
So watch out for that sticky stuff and drop the mayor's daughter
Watch out for that sticky stuff and drop the mayor's daughter
Ahhhhowwwwwwwww!
What does that mean?
Now those days and horny nights are spent in prison
Jesus on the toilet in my bag
After all it wasn't me who wanted to be whipped
And I never had experience with propane collared strips
But honestly the life here ain't that ugly
Fact, the isolation ain't that bad
I got some time to write a book and win back all my money
And I still have all those negatives of you in bed with Daddy!
Lord, even a fly can be blind!
Lord, make a mistake any time!
Don't mess with the mayor's daughter
Unless you got negatives back home!
The Priest : Very nice Phillup. Now get back into the closet!
ANGRY KOINK plays here...
|
||||
25. |
||||
26. |
Listen!
00:56
|
|||
|
LISTEN
Listen to my heartbeat
Listen to my shoes beat
When they beat outside your door
‘Cause I’m choking on the floor
Please send me some social security
Listen to my heartbeat
Open up my door
Please don’t step on the gas too soon
Even though I gassed today
I must get home and mail my Christmas card to Jerry
“You know Jerry and his kids”.
|
||||
27. |
||||
|
2 STEPS BACKWARDS (Lawn Mower Dilemma)
X: Won't someone please pick up my sister?
Please do?
Thank you whooooooo…
We're gonna put you away and take away all of your love!
Urrrrr!
I love you - myself...
JT : Aw, do I, aw do I have to mow the grass ma? It makes so much noise!
Mom: NOW!
JT : Oh alright. I'll just pull this little chord here... Uggh!
Ahhhhh!
What the?...
Oh no. I think I got another squirrel. Hey Mom!
Nick DiMauro : Let's try, let's try to achieve some kind of hyper realization ok? That, a it's there and we're aware of it. Holy cow!
God fearin' Merman : Amen.
Phone rings : Hello? Who? Oh, I'm afraid that's impossible, ya see the old "mulcher" just bit the bag.
I'm sorry. Please try again.
|
||||
28. |
Late Octobra Ramblings
00:28
|
|||
|
ND : Why it was mid day Octobra when the Captain Tank of Ralph Voyager 47 had just confiscated Sandra Piolet's wax paper thesis on the origins and slightly altered myths of the epileptic trough-badoor and it's deflected influence on it's most misunderstood counter point. Sir what are you talking about?
ND 2 : I don't know.
ND 3 : The standard clown.
|
||||
29. |
Doncha Hold It
03:38
|
|||
|
DON’T CHA HOLD IT
It is not my opinions that count, it’s the money I have in the bank
What I earn is a major concern to my family, my lawyer and friends
It is not my opinions that count, it’s the money I’m able to spend
And I feel so frustrated right now ‘cause I have no steady income
No I have no steady income!
But don’t cha hold it
Don’t cha hold your breath for me now
Don’t cha hold it
There are jobs around but not for me now
Don’t cha hold it
Save it for your slot machines now
Don’t cha hold it
Don’t cha hold it
Don’t cha hold it
Ya never can get the “best of” when the worst of you is involved
Anyway you know ya gotta hang out till the puzzle’s solved
"The great puzzel. You know, the universal scheme of things?
For $3.25 an hour. Right!"
It is not my music that counts, it’s the clothing that I display
What I wear is a major affair to designers who want to get paid
It is not my music that counts, it’s the software that copies the trends
And I feel so out dated right now ‘cause I have no steady income
No I have no steady income
But don’t cha hold it
Don’t cha hold your breath for me now
Don’t cha hold it
Jobs around but not for me now
Don’t cha hold it
Save it for your slot machines now
Don’t cha hold it
Don’t cha hold it
Don’t cha hold it
Ya never can get the “best of” when the worst of you is involved
Anyway you know ya gotta hang out till the puzzle’s solved
Till the puzzle's solved
|
||||
30. |
||||
John Tabacco Stony Brook, New York
John Tabacco is a composer, singer-songwriter, producer, recording engineer, and visual
artist.
Like an unfolding musical diary / puzzle, Tabacco’s music and art are constantly being re-worked, juxtaposed and intertwined.
For more info : www.johntabacco.net
... more
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