Life Here​.​.​. It's Anybody's Guess

by John Tabacco

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1.
SILENT JUNKIE You never moved, Always took the safest route to please your soul Selling your groove Meant to keep a quiet eye and play a roll Safe thoughts inside your tears when you'd over load Safe thoughts to hide your fears and keep you cold... Silent junkie in a tin can (make electrical impulses arc) Silent junkie in a tin can (if you "open" it never grows dark) And it's ok to be alive and spit at the sun You always won, Always pleasing daddy at the drop of three Having some fun, meant a reminiscing of the family tree Safe thoughts to cool your tongue over daddy's rules Safe thoughts the day you hung in daddy's shoes... Silent junkie in a tin can (make electrical impulses arc) Silent junkie in a tin can (if you "open" it never grows dark) And it's ok to be alive and spit at the sun Silent junkie in a tin can (make electrical impulses arc) Silent junkie in a tin can (if you move on it never grows dark ) And it's ok to be alive Yeah, and spit at the sun
2.
LIFE HERE IS A HOLIDAY Back in the gray years Back in the salad days There were many mistakes dear I was naive and lead astray Well now i am new age and not afraid to look around Yeah, now i am hip to know what is a jive deal And what is the truth that will let me grow... Well life here is a holiday (Life here) but you got to believe it children Life here is a holiday (Life here) but you got to believe it children We used to be church crime We used to be sent to bed for having a good time Without having mourned the dead Well now we are new age and don't subscribe to the past Now we are hip to know Nobody dies dear We all move up to the next plateau Well life here is a holiday (Life here) but you got to believe it children Life here is a holiday (Life here) but you got to believe it children Life here is a holiday (Life here) but you got to believe it children Rules were written to be revised People... Time to see where the beauty lies It's right here in front of our eyes and it's free... iI's free!! (A long time ago Dave Ossman from the Firesign Theatre was quoted as saying) : “HELLO, WE'RE GLAD YOU MADE IT.” “WELCOME TO THE FUTURE!” Well life here is a holiday (Life here) but you got to believe it children Life here is a holiday (Life here) but you got to believe it children etc…
3.
YOU CAN WAIT ALL YOUR LIFE You can wait all your life for the right reasons You can wait all your life for the right person You can wait till the sun don't shine You can wait till you lose your mind You can wait all your life, you see THAT'S EASY You can save all your time for the right heroes You can save all your time for the right zeroes You can save every precious dime You can save till you're old and blind Or you could spend a good time right now Listen up and I'll tell you how IT'S EASY I once knew a sister An angel from heaven Who told me that all would come with patience Well some of it doesn't And some of it happens But in between all the in-decisions I learned to trust my intuition Well you can wait all your life for the right answers You can wait all your life for the right feelings You can wait till your timing locks Or you can wait till you're in a box Or you can wing it and idle free Well you know that it works for me Or you can wait an eternity THAT'S EASY. DEE PULLED HOAGY CARMICHAEL TRIPPED HIM ON HIS TRICYCLE IN HER HANDS SHE'S DEADLY RIPPED APART HIS MEDLEYS TAXED HIS MIND UNTIL HE SAW TRUE LIGHT TRUE LIGHT IN HIS SONG IN HIS SONG IN HIS SONG IN HIS... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqNKuxpKXTM
4.
SPACE IN MY HEART I’m ok I have seen my darkest hour Some might say I have met my biggest challenge But is it wrong that i should feel this way? A thousand times I ask myself in sorrow Is it wrong that I should feel this way? Love can be a blessing or a crime I don't know what to think I just know there's a space in my heart for you I don't know what to think I just know there's a space in my heart I won't hide I have worked to hard to falter And I won't lie I have shown my truest colors So is it wrong that i should feel this way? Have I wasted time or does it matter Is it wrong that i should feel this way? When you set the best of me on fire I don't know what to think I just know there's a space in my heart for you I don't know what to think I just know there's a space in my heart Past lives Clear signs from the great unknown Someday may shine the proof I need to make you realize I'm here on your side I'm ok I have faced my darkest hour Some might say i have met my biggest challenge So is it wrong that i should feel this way? Painful as it is i guess we all have to move on I don't know what to think I just know that i love you And i hope you find the love you need I don't know what to think I just know there's a space in my heart for you I don't know what to think I just know there's a space in my heart for you O-Z-Na...
5.
O-Z-Na 03:45
O-Z-Na O-Z-Na Oh - the stars look very shifty tonight O-Z-Na Oh - I feel at any moment the earth could swallow me in two And nobody would care Here I was gone for good... And nobody was there... WELL IT'S A BAD PLACE TO BE FEELIN' ABSURD WITH YA PANTS DOWN IT'S A BAD PLACE TO BE DRAWIN' FOR STRAWS WITH THE LIGHTS OUT IT'S A BAD PLACE TO BE... Hope that I can find a friend Somebody who could make me feel jealous again O-Z-Na Oh - this song sounds very foreign tonight O-Z-Na Oh - I feel at any moment the darkness will divide in two And make me disappear Here I am in a void... And nobody can hear... WELL IT'S A BAD PLACE TO BE FEELIN' ABSURD WITH YA PANTS DOWN IT'S A BAD PLACE TO BE DRAWIN' FOR STRAWS WITH THE LIGHTS OUT IT'S A BAD PLACE TO BE... FEELIN' ABSURD WITH YA PANTS DOWN IT'S A BAD PLACE TO BE Hope that I can find a friend Somebody who could make me feel jealous again Hope that I can find a friend Somebody who could make me feel jealous again ‘Cause I've waited too long to be sure I don't wanna be here anymore I don't wanna be here anymore O-Z-Na Make me feel jealous again...
6.
SO CLOSE WE FIND Look away So close to be see the time unfold it’s way Took the time to line the way Move on up Unfold the way We wind what we say So close we find Lines come together and they break a whole new way So set in motion ready for the next attraction So clear a perfect picture running through my mind Looking for tomorrow’s edge Fall into a new sense direction And new felt impression Take a look around the side Feel around The way feels so long When you reach for the top of it all So close now - you’re almost to the point of hearing Seeing all the motions Get set to... Get ready for the next append and cross the way across to stay So close we find Lines come together and they break a whole new way So set in motion ready for the next attraction So clear a perfect picture running through my mind Don’t fall out (of time and time again) Don’t stay in (too long much too long) Move your way (down to get set get ready) Break away Get set Get set Get set GET SET Get set set... Tag along The pieces that we’ve known forever Things we’ve said in line Keeping time, ever moving mixed directions Blending with such slight connections through the hours You’re heading for a new turn on the line Just ahead - the plan unfolds into a brand new scene So close we find Lines come together and they break a whole new way So set in motion ready for the next attraction So clear a perfect picture running through my mind To you I see.... to you I say... Get set you know now... It’s time!
7.
Ancient Photographs / Ancient Memories High way 64 a thousand miles above the sea level, tumblin' on my own i am just a small boy watching as the sun comes out at night scared but standing solid hesitant but lusting for a ride up to the moon i try to step inside now, but mother's voice is crawling through my skin dissuading me from them ANCIENT PHOTOGRAPHS / ANCIENT MELODIES REMINDS ME OF ANOTHER PLACE AND TIME COULD IT BE THAT I MISSED MY ONLY RIDE I'VE NEVER FELT SUCH KINSHIP IN MY LIFE Here i am much older still cradling the secret revelation they left behind Sophisticated small toy a singing 3-d picture that keeps changing, keeps re-arranging and though it's made my fortune drawing music landscapes for a living ain't much fun but i guess it's worth the pleasure it brings to others when it hits them square they maybe once were there ANCIENT PHOTOGRAPHS / ANCIENT MELODIES REMINDS ME OF ANOTHER PLACE AND TIME COULD IT BE THAT I MISSED MY ONLY RIDE I'VE NEVER FELT SUCH KINSHIP IN MY LIFE Someday if I'm bold The secrets will be revealed and I’ll film the story for everyone And if they don't believe it when they see it They can come out here and find out for themselves High way 64 a thousand miles above the sea level, tumblin' on my own (again) the circle crops are plenty and very much the same I've known and loved standing right above... ANCIENT PHOTOGRAPHS / ANCIENT MELODIES REMINDS ME OF ANOTHER PLACE AND TIME COULD IT BE THAT I MISSED MY ONLY RIDE I'VE NEVER FELT SUCH KINSHIP IN MY LIFE I'VE NEVER FELT SUCH KINSHIP IN MY LIFE NO, I'VE NEVER FELT SUCH KINSHIP IN MY LIFE!
8.
IT WILL BE ALRIGHT IT WILL BE ALRIGHT WHEN I SEE HIM FACE TO FACE IT WILL BE ALRIGHT WHEN I SEE HIM FACE TO FACE IT WILL BE IT WILL BE IT WILL BE ALRIGHT IT WILL BE IT WILL BE IT WILL BE!
9.
They're taking me in I've got something inside of me that's tearing within Does it want to be part of me? Now the last thing i remember (a leather face) Yeah, the last thing i remember I can't erase Speak without a voice and a motive too (don't don't, don't take the horses) Speak without a voice and a motive too (don't don't, don't take the horses) I go to extremes In the corner they're watching me It's a nightmarish dream with the needle aligning me Now the last time i was gravel and undefined Yeah, the last time I was gravel They read my mind! Speak without a voice and a motive too (don't don't, don't take the horses) Speak without a voice and a motive too (don't don't, don't take the horses) Speak without a voice Speak without a voice! We're not alone We're not alone in the plan We're not alone We're not alone Future man understands Now the next face in the window could be a friend And the next friend in the shadows Could be the end COULD BE THE END! Speak without a voice and a motive too (don't don't, don't take the horses) Speak without a voice and a motive too (don't don't, don't take the horses) Speak without a voice Speak without a voice! They're taking me in
10.
On That Day 04:14
ON THAT DAY Dirty air petroleum is in the sky every night I've been on the burner avoiding the cable fights No one ever loses, so it's no fun It's just like ballroom dancin' When i get my chance I'm on the next ship to sail the stars! On that day when i leave here I will pay off another world And I'll pray that i find me A cool place i can live and grow A cool place i can live and grow Greedy earth militia is stealing bees from the hives Spitting cruel decisions - affecting countless lives Ahh, but the 3-D screens are realer than real They keep the masses happy When i get my chance I'm on the next ship to sail the stars... On that day when i leave here I will pay off another world And I'll pray that i find me A cool place i can live and grow A cool place i can live and grow I'll do the best that i can do Try my best to follow through Mind my own and hope that soon my mother ship comes in! On that day when i leave here I will pay off another world And I'll pray that i find me A cool place i can live and grow A cool place i can live and grow
11.
SATURDAY NIGHT IS CREEPIN' ALONG Saturday NIght Somewhere a child is sleeping Off with the light Too many bugs are sneaking 'round the bend Behind the stairs While I pretend to sell my prayers Saturday Night All of the ghosts are hiding Turn on the light Too dark to be deciding where and when How far to go I give and then the ghosts all show SATURDAY NIGHT IS CREEPIN' ALONG I DON'T HOLD ON TO IT SATURDAY NIGHT IS CREEPIN' ALONG I DON'T BELONG TO IT SATURDAY NIGHT IS CREEPIN' ALONG I HAVE MY DOUBTS ABOUT IT SATURDAY NIGHT IS CREEPIN' ALONG I CAN DO WITHOUT IT Saturday Night Left with a church bell ringing Brake for a light Shadows can be deceiving 'round the bend A memory grows A long lost friend? One never knows (chorus) Arrive at eight, The chips are neatly stacked up on the table The bodies claim to be the chosen ones (so strong and able) To turn the world around While balancing the drinks they've found Is this what I've waited all week for? Ah Ah.... No. SATURDAY NIGHT IS CREEPIN' ALONG I DON'T HOLD ON TO IT SATURDAY NIGHT IS CREEPIN' ALONG I DON'T BELONG TO IT SATURDAY NIGHT IS CREEPIN' ALONG I HAVE MY DOUBTS ABOUT IT SATURDAY NIGHT IS CREEPIN' ALONG I CAN DO WITHOUT IT I wanna fill that Saturday void Wanna feel I can laugh about it
12.
Nasafrannies 00:46
JT : Could I piss on your sandwich? (laughs) ND : Why sure. I'll pee. I'll pee... JT : Just give me a squirt. ND : Give me a squirt right about there. JT : Just squirt some of that sandwich down this way. (laughs) ND : Squirt me over a tubleleo. JT : Squirt me over your globule. Nassafrannies! ND : (laughs) What? What? JT : Nassfrannies. ND : Nassafranies? JT : Yeah. ND : What the fuck that? JT : It women. ND : It's women (laughs) - Nassafrannies. What's that? It women!
13.
STYLE & CLASS Why wait? I got style & I got class I live in a green Mercedes Benz I got style & I got cash in my pocket Now the boys in blue they think I'm cool I pay them off just to break the rules 'Cause I got style & I got cash in my pocket Sell me one I'll take another Hide this freak where the moon ain't shinin' Cross the tracks to feed me proper All my clouds have zircon linings too... 'Cause I got style & I got class I live in a green Mercedes Benz Yeah, I got style & I got cash in my pocket "I can buy my own solo right now." (solo wig) WHY WAIT? WHY TAKE TIME TO HESITATE? WHY WAIT? "Yo chooch, this douche is loaded." Yeah, I got UNDAGGA & I got class I live in UNDAGGA -sedes Benz Yeah I got UNDAGGA & I got cash in my pocket Sell me one I'll take another Hide this where the moon ain't shinin' Cross the tracks to feed me proper... All my clouds have platinum linings too 'Cause I got style & I got class I live in a green Mercedes Benz Yeah, I got style & I got cash in my pocket Cause I got style & I got class I live in a green Mercedes Benz Yeah, I got style & I got cash in my pocket "One more time." I got style & I got class I live in a green Mercedes Benz "And no fottin' allowed." Yeah,I got style MY FOLKS GOT CASH... In my pocket In my pocket In my pocket
14.
Manipulation. Manipulation. Manipulation. Manipulation. (Sax solo) (Guitar solo) No! Please add more ships? No! Please add more ships? No! Please add more ships? No!
15.
PURPLE AND GREEN Purple and Green can make a lively wonder Purple and Green can make a young mind wander Purple and Green can make a lively wonder When ripples and beams start to swirl from under That's when the torch is out and you're down And your parents aren't with you ‘Cause they're underground And it's hard to face the facts That ya calendar is tearing and your strings are ripping fast in: Purple and Green where every mind can wander Forever it seems, it surely makes you wonder Purple and Green, it surely makes you wonder When you're down and out and alone, Sitting by a pool side And ya wanna drown, but you don't 'Cause the colors are so perfect They make you laugh and there is no doubt Looking deep you'll spot a cloudy shape to call your own And when it fades from sight be sure you'll never trade that moment for a glimpse, of what your life would be without... Purple and Green where every mind can wander Prophetic It seems, it surely makes you wonder Yeah Purple and Green Can make a young mind wonder Purple and Green can surely make you wonder Can surely make you wonder... Ohh, can surely make me wonder PURPLE AND GREEN !
16.
Red Room 06:13
RED ROOM Quiet storms are outside Rolling raven sings Pressure on your head burst like a flower Anger's waiting in the wings Danger on your finger tips feels like suicide But there's a place where you can hide You crawl to the red room (light the sacred song) Crawl to the red room (systems are patrolled) Crawl to the red room (childhood is framed) No bad surprises to unfold Aliens told me... The neighbor satellites They challenge you to fight They must feed their lies But when the bottom drops out You won't be cryin' for the way things used to be You crawl to the red room (where promises are made) Crawl to the red room (excuses are arranged) Crawl to the red room (and like a sunday choir) When you hear that private code This is where you go and it's home. The healing is close at hand Deeper forces are in command Mom and dad couldn't understand When they let you down again How your room could be your friend! But you knew this...down the line... You crawl to the red room (where promises are made) Crawl to the red room (excuses are arranged) Crawl to the red room (and like a sunday choir) When you hear that private code This is where you go Yeah - crawl to the red room! Come on now Crawl to the red room! Crawl to the red room! Ya gotta crawl to the red room! You can do it Well it's anybody's guess where we're goin' It's anybody's guess where we'll be But a cosmic wind is always blowin' in a room where all is free! Crawl to the red room! (For the benefit of Mr. kite there will be a show tonight on trampoline)* - Lennon and McCartney (1967)
17.
Speak without a voice and a motive too Don't, don't, don't take the horses etc...
18.
IT'S OUT THERE + It's out there sheltering us Subtle and tender It's guiding my every doubtful thought Through every darkest hour The beauty, the hope The reason for all things sacred and true All that is joyful and heartfelt, forever blossoming Unstoppable, unafraid, unconditional Spreading ecstasy in all it touches There is no wrong, no sin, no chaos It will love me It will love everything that ever was, is and will be Right from any imagined start point The life force: Conceived to be an eternal blanket of security, faith and oneness No beast or infinite evil can harm me or you It has always been loving Always strong and forgiving Pulling us to infinite levels of universal understanding and meaning It loves us.
19.
START LIVING LIFE AGAIN When we steal back home Slip on our robes and turn on the stove Disconnect the phone line Blow off the webs Turn up the music real loud and START LIVING LIFE AGAIN YES, THE ENERGY IS CHANGING GOTTA START LIVING LIFE AGAIN Once our friends stood proud Something inside of our friends must have died Quickly like a cloud burst They left us flat We had no other choice but to START LIVING LIFE AGAIN YES, THE ENERGY IS CHANGING GOTTA START LIVING LIFE AGAIN WHEN THE PRESENT AND PAST ARE THE SAME (THE SAME) Yes, there's a place Outside this maze We won't have to deal with heartache and sorrow All of the bills, pressures and guilt Are locked in a box In a closet down stairs Now we sleep and leave Out of our bodies but close in our souls Challenged by a new world Over the edge It's time to take a deep breath and START LIVING LIFE AGAIN YES, THE ENERGY IS CHANGING GOTTA START LIVING LIFE AGAIN PLEASE LISTEN TO ME BABY GOTTA START LIVING LIFE AGAIN WHEN THE PRESENT AND PAST ARE THE SAME (THE SAME...)

about

I eventually arrived at a place in my life where I realized I did not know anything and the people I had met, saw or read about were in the same boat. For every solid conclusion anyone came up with, a rebuttle was sure to follow. LIFE WENT ON. So I gave up trying to figure out the universe and I think this was for me, a key to living a semi enjoyable life. At the same time, my software became clear and I began my career in music. This felt right to me; staying in college or renting cars for a living wasn’t cutting it. Music and the arts always brought me joy and inner contentment so I followed that flow. Consequently, I noticed a tremendous increase in my ability to have OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCES, possibly because my sleep was not taxed by worrying about bosses or trying to fix what was wrong in my regular 9 to 5, three dimensional existence. For the most part, I was doing what I wanted, when I wanted.

I could truly relax.

Now, through my out of body experiences, I’ve gone to places that look twisted / bizarre and un-Earth-like, as well as places with a similar Earthly vibe . Each time I’m in the ASTRAL PLANE, the urge to remain in this floating state, on a more permanent basis, increases with each trip. The beauty of all things is enhanced and everything seems to be in balance. I experience a feeling of warmth, wonder, security, freedom, (no destiny - no pain) and a oneness that is hard to connect with in this dimension. SO WHY AM I HERE?, you might be thinking. If it’s so great floating about,
WHY DEAL WITH THIS LIFE OF UNFULFILLED EXPECTATIONS AND ULTIMATE MISERIES?

Good question gentle reader. Good freakin’ question. Theoretically I could end it all right now but for some reason it’s not time yet. So I’m going to go with what I know and just live life. Maybe when I die I’ll finally get my permanent Astral license and then I’ll be able to always

“GO ANYWHERE, DO ANYTHING, SEE ANYBODY, WALK, TALK, SMART, YEAH!!!”

Or perhaps, (now this is on the convoluted philosophical side of things which I am at times an expert and or nuisance at) : The spirit or energy which makes all living things on this planet want to go on living, just keeps exchanging bodies in order to experience infinite possibilities of every circumstance this and all other dimensions have to offer. This energy may just be the COSMIC CARROT dangling in front of the universe’s nose, perpetuating a continuum that keeps falling on top of itself at all times. Why this is, the circle asks itself, is ANYBODY’S GUESS...
- JT 1995

credits

released September 3, 2014

This collections of songs were used as the blueprint for the SA3 mastering sound.
Mastering genius : Bob Ball (1998) SA3 (RISC)

CD design : Farben Fosfeen Artwerks
Art program : Macintosh Pixel Paint™ and Swivel Pro™


I CAN'T THANK ENOUGH FOR THE SUPPORT AND LOVE:

Laura Tabacco, Mom, Dad, Bob & Ann Ball, Dave Siegle, paul michael barkan, Anthony Pomes, Jeneane Claps, Pat & Nick DiMauro, Sirka Louca, Electra Jacobs, Jackie Siebert, Howard Berger, Susan DeVita, Scotto, Bonnie Dunn, Kim O'Brien, Todd Reynolds, Mike Nemirov, Jay Allen, Mike Lowenstern, Peter Winkler, Sherry Saba, Ellen,Stanley,Joel & Perry Rabinowitz, Barry & Phyllis Geller, Phil and Susan Cimino, Grandmother Rose, Mike Crum, Blake & Janet Seals, Julie Ronneberger, Nigey Lennon, Eric Weaver, Donna Manvich, Reinhard Preuss, Teddy Kumpel, Carol Landis, Debbie Genova, Dana Gelman and Tere Orlando.

Special thanks to Chris Pati for musical inspiration, teaching me the ropes of a 24 track studio and for the magical times we had at Backdoor Studios.

And les’ me not forget:
Nick DiMauro, Meryl Mathews, Gian DiMauro, Marci Geller, Donna Bach-Heitner, and Jim Dexter: for being my main writing partners through out the mid 80s - and 90s. The pleasure was all mine.

As if that weren’t enough (and this is for all those press folks out there), I’d like to mention some of the most obvious musical /sound-scape influences that really inspired me to create and choose this frustrating, thankless occupation.
I don’t hold it against them.

The Beatles, Frank Zappa, Steely Dan, The Firesign Theatre, Paul Simon, Stevie Wonder, Elton John, Billy Joel, Stravinksy, Thelonius Monk, Brian Wilson, Captain Beefheart, Martin Mull, Joni Mitchell, Monty Python, Sting, The Monkees, Ambrosia, Dan Robinson, The Bonzo Dog Band, Frank Sinatra and of course the unsung Disc Jockeys at Radio Stations WPKN 89.5 Bridgeprort Conn., WUSB 90.1 SUNY L.I. and WBAI 99.5 fm NYC.

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John Tabacco Stony Brook, New York

John Tabacco is a composer, singer-songwriter, producer, recording engineer, and visual artist.

Like an unfolding musical diary / puzzle, Tabacco’s music and art are constantly being re-worked, juxtaposed and intertwined.

For more info : www.johntabacco.net
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