The Miseducation of Willie The Hill

by John Tabacco

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about

This miniature rock musical was inspired by Frank Zappa’s
original work,"Billy The Mountain". It follows Billy's (Willie)
exploits after 1972. The premise of this musical was concocted by
Eric Weaver and Nigey Lennon.

The actual music was written to be performed by the Ed Palermo Big Band. That never happened, although Ed told us personally he thought the whole enchilada was great.

credits

released October 29, 2014

John Tabacco : Musical arrangements, lyrics, editing, vocals, programming, mixing etc...
Nigey Lennon : Final libretto, Female vocals and dialog
Cover by Eric Weaver and Nigey Lennon
Design : Farben Fosfeen Artwerks
Sa3 Mastering by Tabacco
Recorded at Sonic Underground Studios, Stony Brook, NY in 2001.

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

John Tabacco Stony Brook, New York

John Tabacco is a composer, singer-songwriter, producer, recording engineer, and graphic artist.

Like an unfolding musical diary / puzzle, Tabacco’s music and art are constantly being re-worked, juxtaposed and intertwined.

For more info : www.johntabacco.net
... more

contact / help

Contact John Tabacco

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Track Name: The Non Objective Reality Promo
THE NON OBJECTIVE REALITY PROMO

Nigey Lennon : Well, that looks like the bash over!

JT : Ya think we ought to walk in?

Eric : Alright! Hold it there. Are you on the list? What's yer names?

JT : I'm John Tabacco.

NL : And I'm Nigey Lennon. And we host The Non Objective Realty Show on WUSB, Stony Brook.

Eric : Never heard of it. This, invitation only. I don't see ya wearing no black ties or nuthin'.

NL : Well, we just came from the studio. Anyway ah, I can see Tom and Ray Magliozzi over there and they're not wearing any black ties.

Eric : That's a different story. They have the highest ratings at NPR. They can wear whatever they want. (flips guest list) - You on the list lady?

NL : No. Look we're involved with independent radio, if you know what that is?

Eric : A likely story. You look like your tryin' to get in the "potty" for the free booze or something. C'mon step out of the way. Over here. C'mon.

NL : Hey, John doesn't even drink!

Eric : C'mon. Over here. Oh, good evening Mr. Shure. Come right in will ya? Mr. Glass! Miss Gross! Good to see ya.


Timpani roll into "It Must Be A Cigar"…

NL : John Tabacco and Nigey Lennon's non objective reality show. Distinctively independent talk, music and interviews. Alternate Thursdays from 10:00 AM to 12 Noon on WUSB, Stony Brook.

The Priest : They'll talk. You'll listen! (whip cracks).
Track Name: The Non Objective Reality Show (Theme)
THE NON-OBJECTIVE REALITY SHOW

Hello one and all, we are glad that you came
You got our number, you don’t need a name
Dignified guests, or troublesome pests

It’s The Non-Objective Reality Show

Political bouts and discussions on death
A little Mark Twain underneath our breath
The music’s deranged, but that isn’t strange
On The Non-Objective Reality Show

Time is a construct, that’s why we’re here
Loners by nature, two without fear
Riding the airwaves like pirates we go
Regardless of whether we know what we know

This is our world, we’re glad you could make it
When we’re confused, we will cheerfully fake it
Please stay awhile
Don’t touch that dial

It’s the Non-Objective Reality Show
The Non-Objective Reality Show
The Non-Objective Reality Show

(That’s right. Hum, hum)
Track Name: The Miseducation of Willie The Hill (part 1)
THE MIS-EDUCATION OF WILLIE THE HILL

A HIGH SCHOOL SCIENCE TEACHER is lecturing to her 9th-grade class about erosion. The kids are bored and aren't paying much attention. Finally some girl in the back says, "Who cares what happens to mountains? Mountains are just piles of rocks anyway. What does any of it have to do with us?"

The teacher shakes her head. "Let me tell you a story, kids," she says, and begins:

9th Grade Teacher :
Now once upon a time there was a tall, handsome land form -- we'll call him WILLIE. Now during the 1970s, Willie had experienced his fifteen minutes of fame. As a result of having effectively beat the draft and in the process having vanquished a villain named Studebaker Hoch, who'd been chasing him all over the place from the Antelope Valley to Lost Wages to the Big Apple. Willie had almost had a movie made about his life and exploits.

Rugged Mountainettes :
They call him Willie
Once a big ol' mountain but now just a hill
They call him Willie
Once a big ol' mountain but now just corporate swill

9th Grade Teacher :
He'd even had a big rock group record almost a whole album about him. At one point he'd even been considered for his own show on VH1 -- but he'd been passed over in favor of Dweezil and Ahmet Zappa (too bad).

Willie had once had a wife, a pinyon pine tree growing off his shoulder (Ethyl), but being in show biz, he had long since traded her in for a series of younger, better looking girlfriends -- a bunch of air-headed cottonwoods, flaky birches, and other miscellaneous beeches.

Rugged Mountainettes :
They call him Willie
Once a big ol' mountain but now just a hill
They call him Willie
Once a big ol' mountain but now just a hill

Willie :
I used to be the shit -- brother I was it

Rugged Mountainettes :
Crunching through Las Vegas with his Ethylene contagious

Willie :
We were quite a hit Yeah! -- before we had to split
Willie /Ethyl :
Pulled a few handles, drank a few beers!
- The Meryl Mathews Mountain Dance Organ solo -

Rugged Mountainettes :
They call him Willie
Once a big ol' mountain but now just a hill
They call him Willie
Once a big ol' mountain but now just a hill
They call him Willie
Once a big ol' mountain but now just a hill!

Willie :
That Studebaker Hoch with all his flies was trying to shaft me
So I puffed a bunch of dust at him -- thought that he could draft me
Well never underestimate the power of a mountain
That Peccary was right to ask:
Who is making those new brown clouds?*
(The weight of Willie is calling)
Who is making those new brown clouds?
(The weight of Willie is calling)
Who is making those new brown clouds?
(The weight of Willie is calling)
Who is making those new brown clouds?
(The weight of Willie is calling)

Willie :
Well, it was me, stupid!

9th Grade School Teacher :
Now, unlike his more sedentary pals in the Tehachapi Range of Southern California, Willie was bi-coastal. Yes, he enjoyed traveling -- a rather unusual hobby for a mountain, perhaps, but then, Willie was no ordinary rock pile. People always knew when Willie was going on vacation because wherever he walked, he caused earthquakes!

("It's Not My Fault")

Willie :
I get the urge to kinda walk around
Take a hike and on vacation I go...
But every time I start to shake the ground
Those stupid jerks at Caltech, they wanna slow me down!

‘Cause I'm just a wandering mountain, I don't mean no one harm
I ain't causing earthquakes, it's not my fault!
Yeah, I'm a wandering mountain, don't wanna buy the farm
I ain't makin' trouble, it's not my fault!
It's not my fault, I swear !

I recall in my younger days
Sez-mic acts that nearly devastated L.A.
But now I'm staid, approaching middle age
I don't wanna do no damage, I just wanna get away!

'Cause I'm a wandering mountain, I don't mean no one harm
I ain't causing earthquakes, it's not my fault
Yeah I’m a wandering mountain, don't wanna buy the farm
I ain't hurtin' no one, it's not my fault

Yeah I’m a wandering mountain, I don't mean no one harm
I ain't hurtin’ no one, it's not my fault
It's not my fault!

Why should a mountain have to shoulder all the blame,
because he likes to party now and then?
When San Andreas blows, they always look my way
They finger me, I take the rap, it's always just the same...
(Even if I'm in friggin' New York!)

- Anthony Pomes Avalanche Guitar solo -

Yes I'm a wandering mountain, I don't mean no one harm
I ain't causing earthquakes, it's not my fault
Yeah I’m a wandering mountain, don't wanna buy the farm
I ain't makin’ trouble, it's not my fault

Yeah I'm a wandering mountain, I don't wanna buy the farm
I ain't hurtin’ no one, it's not my fault! It’s not my fault – I swear!
It’s not my fault!
It’s not my fault!!
It’s not my fault!!!

9th Grade Teacher :
On one of his vacations, he went to the Pacific Northwest, where he met a female mountain, a real hot ticket named HELEN. She took one look at Willie and fell madly in love with him! But Willie, being the picturesque sorta stud muffin he was, got bored with Helen, and he started messing around with one of the Grand Tetons. When Helen found out about Willie's little tête-à-tête, she EXPLODED!, killing 60 innocent bystanders and causing untold property damage throughout beautiful Washington state.

("I'm a Hot Headed Gal")

Helen :
I got a flamin' cone
I got a burnin' soul
My heart is made of stone
But there's fire in the hole

I ain't no shaky hill
I ain't the kind to fall
So don't you tell no lies
Or I'll make you crawl


I got some molten lava
Thick and hot as java
Gonna get some on ya
C'mon c'mon c'mon

'Cause I'm a hot headed gal
Doncha know that I'm on fire
Hot headed gal
I'm gonna blow on you
Hot headed gal
I want to take you higher
C'mon c'mon c'mon and let's explode!

My core is heating up
Ain't no time for talk
You're what I'm lookin' for
You’re huge and harder than a rock
C'mon and give it up
I don't want nothin' small
Now don't you mess with me
I wanna take it all

Now don't you be a spastic
I'm feelin' pyroclastic
It's gonna be fantastic
C'mon c'mon c’mon, ‘cause

I'm a hot headed gal
Doncha know that I'm on fire
Hot headed gal
I'm gonna blow all over
Hot headed gal
C'mon and take me higher
C'mon c'mon c'mon and let's explode (Mississippi Queen solo)

You're my kinda guy
Yeah, you’re just standing there
You’re tall, you’re strong and most of all you’re silent
Yeah, that’s what I like…

Willie :
“How would you like to go to a Howard Johnsons?”

Helen :
Humm Humm Humm…
I'm a hot headed gal
Doncha know that I'm on fire
Hot headed gal
I'm gonna blow on you
Hot headed gal
I want to take you higher
C'mon c'mon c'mon and kiss my ash!
I'm a hot headed gal
Doncha know that I'm on fire?
Hot headed gal
I'm gonna blow on you
Hot headed gal
I want to take you higher
C'mon and kiss my ash!- Come on and kiss it -Yeah
I’m gonna blow
Doncha know I’m on fire?

Hot Sister Mountains :
She’s such a hot head!
She is. A hot head
She is such a hot head!
Track Name: The Miseducation Of Willie The Hill (part 2)
9th Grade Teacher :
Most of the time, though, Willie preferred hangin' on the East Coast...at Studio 54. The first time he tried to get in, the bouncer sent him to the back of the line, but Willie soon became the star of Studio 54. He could often be seen creating little temblors as he did the Hustle or the Bump -- a really buff looking guy with his gold chains and ENORMOUS polyester disco pants. (Disco interlude)

Chippendale Gold Diggers :
Yo’ Willie, he's the coolest, hippest mountain on the floor
Disco Willie, he could really bump 'n' grind and rock the core
Yes, he could!

9th Grade Teacher :
Now one night Willie met L. RON HUMP, a real estate mogul. L. Ron owned a LOT of real estate in Manhattan, and he THOUGHT BIG. Willie was the biggest thing he'd ever seen, and L. Ron began to hang out with him, sharing the snow that clung to Willie's upper crags. L. Ron had big plans for Willie. The problem was, Willie took FOREVER to do anything because he was on geological time. But L. Ron was a patient man, and he bided his time.

THE HUMP LEGACY

L. Ron Hump :
Acid rain
Trickling down every single
Windowpane
Rotting away things that people must replace
This corporate swill is always high up there on my list
of reasons to resist change that won't make me money!

Dark green air
Oxygen bars
And I own a great big share in things that were once free to all

Life ain't fair
But only if you're not smart enough to play on people's fears and nimples
Because they're stupid
And I am ruthless!

“Hmm...a mountain makes a nice piece of real estate,
especially one that travels.”

L. Ron’s cronies :
(Soon he'll be debris)

“How could I pass up this opportunity? He seems like the gullible type.”

(Just a pile of scree)

“I can chop him up, flatten him out and sell him to the highest bid.”

(Would you like a snack?)

There's nothing worse than seeing a big bunch of earth that's lying there without a parking lot, condos, nuclear power plants or big stadiums!

Here's the way we play the economics game
Tie a bow 'round garbage dumps and plastic frames
And resell cheap yeah, sell it again
In strip malls with fancy lights
And fast food joints (take a big bite)...
They'll keep you healthy
While I get wealth...-ier

TV Anchorman :
This just in to our CNN newsroom...Obsolete germ bombs found bubbling under a Columbine schoolyard in Colorado...Religious leaders in Chernobyl seen glowing in the dark during Pope John Paul's sermon...
A new breed of frogs with one eye, poisoning the water supply in Niagara... Global warming seen as main cause for freak snowstorm in Hawaii... And there's oil all over the Alaskan shoreline, putting an end to a 30-day strike by the National Association of Baby Seal Killers. More on this after these revelations...

L. Ron :
Bull crap!
It’s TV pap!
THE EARTH IS FINE!
In fact, she's a friend of mine...

Speaking of friends - say, let's see what my Middle East pals are doing. Looks like they might be a bit tight on the black stuff. Prices are pretty high. Can't have those cars that run on water. Say, Willie's probably got some deposits in him. I bet I can slip him a dynamite laxative. That'll loosen him up. I'll bottle his oil and then sell it to the Arabs at half price.
Ah Ha!
Money!
I smell money!
I need more money!!
Why not?

This mountain here has all the good things to extend my great career
And keep on :

Pseudo Don Pardo:
"THE HUMP LEGACY"

L. Ron :
It's all good cheer
I'll live on for centuries
Not to fear I've got a stake in everything that's near and dear

Oh Willie my boy I can see you're quite dumb for a mountain

You'll succumb to my plans like all of Mother Nature

L. Ron and his cronies :
I'm here to rape ya!
Ah, what a mountain!


9th Grade Teacher :
Finally, as the '90s were drawing to a close, L. Ron managed to convince Willie that he needed a makeover so he could make it in Hollywood. The first phase of the makeover was to mine Willie's upper reaches, removing all his gold chains. Then L. Ron suggested that Willie should adopt a tougher look, and shave his head -- which meant that Willie had to be clear cut. Next, he suggested that Willie get some body piercings so he could be more trendy. Finally, L. Ron concluded that Willie needed to lose a few pounds and a fleet of bulldozers arrived to begin strip mining!

Now Willie had harbored some secret doubts all along that maybe this wasn't the way to get into the movies. Here he was, a formerly tall, handsome geological formation now horribly foreshortened, his gold chains stolen, his beautiful green hair cut off, big gaping holes in his formerly buff physique. The more he thought about it, the less he liked it. This was no way to make it in Hollywood. Worse, the postcard photographers weren't lining up for photo shoots anymore. Suddenly the awful truth dawned on Willie :
That slimy scoundrel L. Ron Hump had taken him to the cleaners!

WHAT'S BECOME OF ME?

Willie :
Ah, children, can you see what I've become?
Ah, children, I'm a blasted, burnt out bum
I used to be a mountain, got blown to kingdom come
Oh children, I know I ain't the one
Thought that I'd be celebrated, now I know I shoulda waited,
all I am is desecrated now

I give up, children, what's become of me?
I give up, children, I'm just a pile of scree
'Cause I used to be a mountain, but now I'm just debris
I said ah, children, what's become of me?
Ah, children, when will I be free?

Ah, children, can you help me understand?
Here, I ask you, as a land form with no land
I tried to be a hero, but it wasn't in the plan
Ah, children, please don't tell me what I am
I didn't wanna get in trouble, now I'm just a pile of rubble,
reality done burst my bubble now!

I give up, children
What's become of me?
I give up, children
Will you ever see
That I used to be a mountain, and now I'm just debris
I said ah, children, what's become of me?
Ah, children, when will I be free?
Tell me now!

L. Ron Hump :
Isn’t nature wonderful? Hey hey - yeah yeah yeah!

(Rockin’ George Duke type piano solo )

I give up, children, what's become of me?
I give up, children, I'm just a pile of scree
'Cause I used to be a mountain, but now I am a hill
Do I find myself a victim of the usual corporate swill?

Tell me, ah, children, what's become of me?
Ah, children, just a pile of some scree
Ah, children, now I'm just debris
I ask ah, children, when will I be free?
Ah, children, what’s become
What’s become of me?
Ah children, now I’m just debris
Sucks for me!
Yeah!!!!!!!!!

9th Grade School Teacher :
(In the Seismic Debris extravaganza that follows, Willie manages to destroy a great deal of real estate, as well as liberating old pools of poison gas and obsolete germ bombs underlying various former military bases. He also causes an enormous tidal wave which washes over the West Coast, obliterating the entire coastline. And, in a gesture of rough justice, Willie destroys all of L. Ron Hump's real estate holdings. Hump has to move to a trailer in the Mojave Desert, and live out his miserable and abject life riding an old bicycle instead of being chauffeured around in a stretch limo.

And what does that go to show, boys and girls?
It only goes to show that...

A MOUNTAIN IS SOMETHING YOU DON'T WANT TO FUCK WITH!

The Mountainettes :
They call him Willie - Once a big old mountain but now just a hill!
They call him Willie - Once a big old mountain but now just a hill!!
They call him Willie - Once a big old mountain but now just a hill!!!


(Hold chord and quote 6 note “Billy The Mountain” motif )

The End.
Track Name: The Pirates Of Old Northport (JT Version)
THE PIRATES OF OLD NORTHPORT

Late at night at Drifter's Reef honest John will come to grief
Should he attempt to stop our sport
We are the Pirates - Bully Boys all
We are the Pirates of Old Northport
Say hey ho
Watch us blow from Stony Brook to the old Brancho
We'll make'm flee by land or sea
We are the Pirates - Bully Boys all
We are the Pirates Of Old Northport

Oh, down we roll to Gunther's Bar
Some of us in big Mike's car
We'll drink'em dry and hold rough court
We are the Pirates -Bully Boys all
We are the Pirates of Old Northport
Say hey ho
Watch us blow from Stony Brook to the old Brancho
We'll make'm flee by land or sea
We are the Pirates - Bully Boys all
We are the Pirates Of Old Northport

Oh, the Magdelena she's our ship
The Mudshark is our leakin' skiff
And up on deck we'll take a snort
We are the Pirates -Bully Boys all
We are the Pirates of Old Northport
Say hey ho
Watch us blow from Stony Brook to the old Brancho
We'll make'm flee by land or sea
We are the Pirates - Bully Boys all
We are the Pirates Of Old Northport

Oh, once around Block Island sound
To Centerport to tourist town
At Asharoken there's our fort
We are the Pirates -Bully Boys all
We are the Pirates of Old Northport
Say hey ho
Watch us blow from Stony Brook to the old Brancho
We'll make'm flee by land or sea
We are the Pirates - Bully Boys all
We are the Pirates Of Old Northport
Track Name: It's Just A Black Guitar (Re-mix)
IT’S JUST A BLACK GUITAR

Out there in the suburbs where everything is dead
The kids need a religion to feed an empty head
At midnight in their bedrooms be sure the door is locked
Kneel down before those speakers and worship at the rock

It’s just 5 pounds of plastic with a finish painted black
Six strings, a bridge and tuners and a big ol’ Marshall stack
Some knuckle walking hero just sent’em to the stars
This ain’t no holy relic
It’s just a black guitar!

Up there in the school room nobody seems to care
Down there on the corner - dealers everywhere
But promo Joe the hack man has got a “jones” to sell
He’s workin’ for the company
He’ll send you straight to hell

50 years hereafter professors will convene
To lie about the future and tell where we’ve been
They’ll talk about the culture
They’ll swoon about the goal
They’ll drool about the good old days when we had heart and soul
It was a revolution - It was the best by far
It was the golden moment
That shiny black guitar

It’s just 5 pounds of plastic with a finish painted black
Six strings, a bridge and tuners (and a big ol’ Marshall stack)
Some knuckle walking hero just sent’em to the stars
This ain’t no holy relic - It’s just a black guitar!
A BLACK GUITAR!
A BLACK GUITAR!

And the goddamn thing won’t even stay in tune!
Track Name: Story Of The Missing Bubble Gum
JT : The story of the - of the missing bubblegum.

Nigey Lennon : Ok.

JT : At one point, I - I don't know if it's still true, you could buy baseball cards. and they used to have bubblegum in them?

NL : Hum, hum. Now they have like Jennifer Lopez on the cards.

JT : They have pieces of Jennifer Lopez in the actual...

NL : That you can chew!

JT : That you can chew on the bubblegum.

NL : Yeah.

JT : Well, I remember in and around this time 'cause baseball season, I think it started already, right?

NL : Hum Hum.

JT : Yeah.

NL : Eric was watching it over the weekend.

JT : Yeah, so there you go. And I got like some baseball cards. 'Cause they're you know, good thing for kids to collect and to put'em on your...

NL : Put'em on your spokes of your bicycle.

JT : On your spokes, right?

NL : Yeah.

JT : Actually I wanted to just collect'em 'cause I was hoping to get, I don't know... whoever was popular at the time. You know, like a special signed one. ' Member being very excited actually got a little bit of money from some... some raking job. Or something. Something I did. Some sort of lawn activity...

NL : Kid, kid labor. Yeah...

JT : So I remember going all the way into St. James. Going into the place called the "Sugar Bowl". And ah, they had a bunch of collectable cards.
You know, just a rare collection of things and I got the cards, and I was really really proud. Really happy about it. And I came home and I, you know I left the cards on - on my bed.

NL : Hum hum

JT : And meanwhile, I went to go get something to eat. Perhaps it was some you know, strawberry ah, yogurt and then some pickles and then some pepperoni...

NL (laughs) A little bit...

JT : Sandwich or something.

NL : A Little bit of chocolate sauce per...

JT : Poptart. Something with you know, whatever... And I remember coming back in to my room and then lo' and behold I - I saw all the cards, they were all spread around, they had all this like liquid goo on them and not too far away from them was my little dog, a little Yorkshire Terrier.

NL : Uh oh

JT : He had eat - he got through all the baseball cards...

NL : Oh no.

JT : And had eaten all the gum.

NL : Oh no.

JT : And, and that's really what I was pissed off about.

NL : (laughs)

JT : He had eaten the gum. It's like, that was the..

NL : (laughs)

JT : That's really what I wanted. Let's face it you know?

NL : (laughs)

JT : And ah, you know I kinda laughed and it was very interesting because then he would go outside and he'd try to go to the bathroom and like little bubbles would come out of his rear end..

NL : (laughs)

JT : So

NL : Oh man.

JT : That's my story of the day.

NL : Surreal...

JT : Hope you enjoyed it.

NL : Is this dog still above the sod or...

JT : No, this dog died...

NL : This was many years ago?

JT : in 1986. Yeah, he had a stroke. It's very sad when animals go. And, and they're very dramatic when they leave.

NL : Yeah.

JT : Something that I really, I hope nobody has to witness but you know, what are you gonna do? That's life.

NL : When you live with them it does.

JT : So anyway hopefully he's in a good place.

NL : Where he can get all the bubblegum...

JT : All the bubble gum he wants.






















NL :
Track Name: 2 Steps Forward / 1 Step Back (Live)
2 STEPS FORWARD / 1 STEP BACK

Travel through the red zone
Scriptures fade to black
Searching for the hidden answers always set us back
Twisting to the surface
Unfamiliar faults

2 steps forward / 1 step back
2 steps forward / 1 step back

Open ended holidays
Stretching into years
Scattered piece of knowledge thrown beneath a wall of fear
When the wave of smoke thins
Hints of worlds to come...begin

2 steps forward / 1 step back
2 steps forward / 1 step back

Building block technology
Scores of disbelief
Visionary future set with promises of peace
Stumble into silence
Memory is old

2 steps forward / 1 step back
2 steps forward / 1 step back
2 steps forward and 1 step back
1 step back
Track Name: Eddie (Palermo) Are You Kidding?
EDDIE (PALERMO) ARE YOU KIDDING?

Eddie are you kidding?
I heard ya on the CD
Eddie are you kidding?
The people always ask me

Ya played those Zappa hits
I thought it was the shit
Ya nailed them on the head
And then you sent me home

What?

Eddie are you kidding?
No!
No!
Eddie are you kidding?
No!
No!

Eddie are you teasing
About your slick arrangements?
Eddie are you teasing
About your twenty woodwinds?

I really got a jones
To hear those saxophones
Ya promised that you'd play me your version of Dupree

Eddie are you kidding?
No!
No!
Eddie are you kidding?
No!
No!

NL : You know, my friends asked me Eddie - Eddie are you kidding? (This is the dog talking ya see?) I wanna tell you something my friends : I am not kidding! Here at the Bottom Line we have twenty woodwinds in the front line. We have the East coasts best sections of trumpets, saxophones, trombones, keyboards and rhythm. Now my friends say to me : Eddie, what do you think of this Frank Zappa comedy material? And I tell 'em well when I first the Just Another Sandwich from LA album, I was not impressed. But as you can see here this song is Xenochronic. It stitches in all the right places. Our mallet player Igor will demonstrate. Just listen to this little Mudshark arpeggio.

"Take it away, Iggy!" (pause)… Ah, Iggy?

(Arpeggio plays here)


NL : Ah, see me after the show now, will ya Ig?

Thing 1 : Where can I go in Pomona?

Thing 2 : And where can I go In Bombay?

NL : And where can I go In Zurich?

Crew : To hear FZ today?

I need the hits.
The Zappa hits
I need the hits.
They are the shit.
I need the hits.

NL : With a bullet!

The Zappa hits

I've really got a jones
To hear all those trombones
He promised me he'd play me his version of Black Page

What?

Eddie are you kidding?
No!
No!
Eddie are you kidding?
No!
No!
Eddie are you kidding?
No!
No!
Eddie are you kidding? Eddie are you kidding? Eddie are you kidding?

NL: : No my friends I am not kidding. Right here on the stage tonight we have the Easts coasts largest selection of :

Trumpets
Saxophones
Trombone
Piccolo
And maybe even a contra-sarrusophone

NL : That's right. My brother Jake and little Emilio and…

Thing 1-5 : Twenty Woodwinds!