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Blame It All On Christmas Day

from A Presbyter's Dementia by John Tabacco

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Words and Music © 2007 by Gian DiMauro and John Tabacco
Published by It Iz What It Iz Music (SESAC) / Slip Code Technology Music (SESAC)

Gian DiMauro, Marci Geller (on occasion Paul Michael Barkan) and I at one time in the late 90's would sing holiday carols at the quaint and very old Three Village Inn, in Stony Brook. It was easy money and just in time for our Christmas shopping. After singing a few sets we'd normally take a voice break and squeeze ourselves into a small closet size space behind the kitchen away from all the guests. We'd drink some hot herbal tea and figure out what songs we were gonna do for the next set. In between this decision making routine I would passively play ideas I was working on during the week on my acoustic guitar (actually Jim Dexter's Guild™ which he basically gave to me). Gian heard me play the basic progression to this song and soon enough started to sing a phrase that sounded vaguely familiar to me. With a nod and a wink we quickly shaped out a solid form and melody for the song, casually tossing in a Christmas line here and there. All we needed were some lyrics. Gian, being the inspired holiday guy he is, feverishly scribbled down a bunch of ideas during his day job about the madness that is induced by the holiday rush and the sometimes awkward family gatherings many of us are obliged to partake in. The lyrics dictated the kind of wacky production we ultimately constructed and the whole recording came together in a matter of a few recording sessions. The kazoo soloing was the most fun for me.

lyrics

BLAME IT ON CHRISTMAS DAY

Ahhh Eaaa Ahhh Eaaa Ahhh Eaaa Ahhh Eaaa

Auntie Sally, Uncle Joe,
Slippin’ on the Christmas snow
Breakin’ their necks and screamin’ thru the night...
If I told them once I told them twice,
“Our driveway’s full with lots of ice”
Did they listen to me? No!
Now we’re in for a legal fight!
All I wanna see are Christmas cookies
All I wanna see are Christmas toys...
All I wanna see are children sneakin’look-sees
And hear them makin’ too much Christmas noise!

What’s gonna happen next only heaven knows!
‘Cause this is sometimes how the holiday goes!
I’ll just blame it all on Christmas day!
Blame it all on Christmas day! Ahhh Eaaa

If I told him once I told him twice,
“Jimmy never make a ball outta ice!”
Did he listen to me? No! Kringle got it in the eye!
So Santa grabbed a two by four
and he chased Jimmy down to even the score
Now I gotta pick a fight with a bad ass Christmas guy!
Now all I wanna do are smash the Christmas cookies
All I wanna do are break some Christmas toys
All I wanna do are give some Christmas noogies
And give the kids a reason to make some Christmas noise!

What’s gonna happen next only heaven knows!
‘Cause this is sometimes how the holiday goes!
I’ll blame it all on Christmas day!
Just blame it all on Christmas day!
Blame it all on Christmas day! Ahhh Eaaa

Now the fruit got rotten in the Christmas stocking (YUCK!)..
The mistle-toe keeps falling on the floor...
The Christmas lights got mad and started shocking (AHHH!)
The egg nog’s bad and the cops are at the door!

What’s gonna happen next only heaven knows! -
‘Cause this is sometimes how the holiday goes!
I’ll blame it all on Christmas day!
Blame it all on Christmas day!

“Hey, why would you throw that?”
“Ow easy-easy - easy!”
“Watch your back.”
“C’mon, who threw the chocolate ball?”
“Put the cat down now!” (Meow!)
So, I’m gonna smash the Christmas cookies..
I’m gonna break the Christmas toys...
I’m gonna pound out Christmas noogies...
And give a big laugh when I hear the Christmas noise!

What’s gonna happen next only heaven knows!
‘Cause this is sometimes how the holiday goes!
They can blame it all on Christmas day!
They can blame it all on Christmas day!
Marci blame it all on Christmas day!
Jimmy blame it all on Christmas day!
Pauly blame it all on Christmas day!
Johnny blame it all on Christmas day!

Ahh Eaaa Ah Eaaa Ahh Eaaa Ahh Eaaa etc...

credits

from A Presbyter's Dementia, released September 28, 2014
GD : Lead Vocal, Programming, FX, Back up vocals, Kazoo
JT: Acoustic Guitar, Bells, Back up vocals, Kazoo
Marci Geller : Back up vocals

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John Tabacco Stony Brook, New York

John Tabacco is a composer, singer-songwriter, producer, recording engineer, and visual artist.

Like an unfolding musical diary / puzzle, Tabacco’s music and art are constantly being re-worked, juxtaposed and intertwined.

For more info : www.johntabacco.net ... more

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