Flanged JT:
Everybody looks like Ralph, there’s nothing we can do about it.
Imaginary Howard Berger:
Go-‘head Jones… Blobdark
Flanged JT:
Everybody looks like Ralph, there’s nothing we can do about it.
Everybody looks like Ralph, there’s nothing we can do.
Imaginary Howard Berger:
Go-‘head Jones… Blobdark - Go-‘head Jones… Blobdark
Godfather Anthony:
Do me a favor…
The Brighton Beat plays "Swinging From The Rafters":
Nick DiMauro : We’re…
Scotto Savitt : We’re…
Dennis Massa : We’re…
Meryl Mathews : We’re…
JT (to Meryl) : Figures you’d sing that.
ND:
Don’t gimme me dat marijuana,
Don’t gimme me dat marijuana crack - crack
Don’t gimme me dat marijuana,
Don’t gimme me dat marijuana Filipino
Don’t gimme me dat marijuana,
Don’t gimme me dat marijuana crack - crack
Don’t gimme me dat marijuana,
Don’t gimme me dat marijuana
JT: Filipino
ND: Filipino
MM : Filipino… Filipino
ND:
Don’t gimme me dat marijuana,
Don’t gimme me dat marijuana crack - crack
Don’t gimme me dat marijuana,
Don’t gimme me dat marijuana Filipino
Don’t gimme me dat marijuana,
Don’t gimme me dat marijuana crack - crack
Don’t gimme me dat marijuana,
Don’t gimme me dat marijuana Filipino
Dennis:
Once upon a time there were three Filipinos...
ND:
Sounds good in the headphones.
Mick Richards sings :
Well, everybody’s going’ viral
Everybody’s gonna be a star
Everybody’s going’ viral
The world will see you as you are
I said everybody’s going’ viral
Everybody’s gonna be a star
Everybody’s going’ viral
The world will see you as you are
But don’t feel alone I’m your biggest fan
I’ll be watching you every night as long as I can pay my electric bill
You’ll be in my sights tonight
So do me a favor shed a little skin for my imagination
That’s my secret place
That’s my secret place
Trish Amendola :
Bizz, stizz, stizz, stizz, Pop! Pop! We all saw stars..
Flanged JT:
There’s nothing we can do about it.
Imaginary Howard Berger:
Go-‘head Jones… Blobdark
Flanged JT:
Everybody looks like Ralph, there’s nothing we can do about it.
Everybody looks like Ralph, there’s nothing we can do…
Imaginary Howard Berger:
Go-‘head Jones… Blobdark
Flanged JT:
Everybody looks like Ralph, there’s nothing we can do about it.
Everybody looks like Ralph, there’s nothing we can do…
Imaginary Howard Berger:
Go-‘head Jones… Blobdark
Ahhh!
“New World Robo Jungle” excerpt (lowered in pitch):
ND: So what do you guys think? Ya think they’re buying this?
Jim Dexter: Humm I don’t know.
JT : Who cares?
X: Ahhh!
Vic Caroleo :
Ya gotta hear this guy.
He’s outta the box.
Or he’s in the box.
Or he’s got no box.
JT improvised lyrics:
I tried to compromise but you don’t care
I know that you don’t wanna love me anymore
I tried to sympathize but it’s not fair
You only see your side and then you shut the door
Eat me!
Teach me!
Show me all the ways of hatred that you know!
Oh no
Oh no!
Benjamin Aretha Franklin :
Although the E Phant was once a cherished animal of the state,
political correctness fell upon it one cold judicial date
And thus, no longer allowed to have the vote
Our E Phant friend took back his coat and moved away
Back to the shadows where all the extinct bill of rights go to cry
Like a needle through a rich man’s eye
E Phant
E Phant
Goodbye
“FM” string arrangement descending chords…
Akai instrumental “5 Prong Clit” plays here…
Tere Orlando :
Your lips should be buzzing
Your lips should be buzzing buzzing
Your lips should be buzzing
Your lips should be buzzing
Your lips should be buzzing
Your lips should be buzzing
Flanged JT:
Everybody looks like Ralph, there’s nothing we can do about it.
Trial Amendola :
His hand is a piece of dead meat that I swear glows a “glowy” color
and hums every now and then.
Live Big Band version of “Space In My Heart” plays here..
Imaginary Howard Berger:
Go-‘head Jones… Blobdark
KG & KB : Gangsta gun shot skit plays in right channel.
Flanged JT:
Everybody looks like Ralph, there’s nothing we can do about it.
Everybody looks like Ralph, there’s nothing we can do.
“Swinging From The Rafters” performed by The Brighton Beat continues to play…
Flanged JT:
Everybody looks like Ralph, there’s nothing we can do about it.
Everybody looks like Ralph, there’s nothing we can do.
ND: I’m Ginger! From HELL!
MM : Gargling - Awww
ND : Alright here we go…
MM : Gargling - Awww
ND : Aww, Frenzy
MM / ND : Gargling sounds…
MM: Filipino…
Imaginary Howard Berger:
Blobdark
JT : Improvised vocals, Meryl Mathews: Improvised keyboard, Todd Turkish: Drums - 1994, NYC
JT :
I swear it was an accident. An accident I swear. I swear it was an accident. It was an accident I swear! She just wanted me to have some rough sex with her and her head came off. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know who to call. I got really nervous. Well, it got so scary I had to go get some… Go to 7-Eleven to buy some bags and, and clean up the mess and then I figured I would put her across a- ya know where the buses are. And no one would find out. I was nervous. I didn’t know what to do. I figured though… You know I figured if they’re gonna catch me, I mean you know I might as well a - you know have some fun because you know, it’s too obvious that I ya slipped when I ya - It’s really horrible. I didn’t mean to do it. I was insane at the time. At the time I was insane. I didn’t really know what I was doing. I was thinking well maybe if you know I could just quiet her down just a little bit. Just quiet her down just a little bit. But it just didn’t happen. In fact, I went a little too far and ah well, she’s not making much noise any more. And I’m really sorry. I’m really sorry. Maybe I… maybe I could do some community work or something and you know - I don’t know. Anything. Anything I can do to help out the community. ‘Cause I made a bad mistake. I really screwed up bad. And ah, I know that won’t bring her back but ah you know if I can do some community work - community work! Again community work… And they sentenced you to seventy years!
“Hagglefret” (improvised instrumental by Teddy Kumpel, Bob Stander, Saul Zonona and JT) plays here:
Godfather Anthony:
Do me a favor. Talk into the bag.
Jimmy Ravioli:
Into the bag!
Godfather Anthony:
The microphone won’t pick us up and then they can’t read our lips
Jimmy Ravioli:
Oh got it! Got it!
JT singing:
For once the clouds reflect the ground
The cheating sun is gone
Familiar hands rest by your side
They twist to this strange song
Jimmy Ravioli:
Into the bag!
A re-mix of the mirage keyboard solo from “I Don’t Need Heaven At All” plays here…
Sri :
Hey, how’s it going? I haven’t seen you in this neck of the cube farm in a - in a dog’s year.
Pat:
Yeah, I know. The boss has been keeping me busy organizing the Bogle Lunch Box committee files.
Sri :
Ugh, so time consuming.
Pat:
Yeah, no joy. So what are you up to?
Sri:
Well, Bradley Thunderbird Phoenix asked me to write a radio play for his Montage Radio Theatre group and the dead line is in an hour and I’m just fishing for ideas.
Pat:
Bummer. Well, good luck with that. Gotta go…
Clam Radio theme plays here:
Bradley Arrington:
Hey, everybody - this Bradley Thunderbird Phoenix from Montage Radio Theatre. And you’re listening to Clam Radio with John Tabacco and Susan DeVita.
Imaginary Howard Berger:
Go-‘head Jones…
Bradley Arrington :
Ooo…
Imaginary Howard Berger:
Blobdark.
Outro to an unreleased Marci Geller / John Tabacco song, “Blue Dot” plays here:
Flanged JT:
Everybody looks like Ralph, there’s nothing we can do about it.
Trish Amendola :
Sugar is the Devil!
Flanged JT:
There’s nothing we can do.
credits
from E Phant,
released July 4, 2016
JT : Editing, Programming, Various vocals, Reciting
Meryl Mathews : Keyboard madness, Ginger vocals
Todd Turkisher : Drums (recorded in 1994 in NYC)
Nick DiMauro: Voices
Dennis Massa : Voice
Jim Dexter: Grumble
Tere Orlando : Buzzing lips
Anthony Pomes : Don Tom
Jim Pastor : Johnny Coldcuts
Patricia Amendolia : Cube farm worker, Sugar warning mama
Brighton Beat : "Swinging From The Rafters" recorded live at the Brooklyn Bowl, NY in 2015
KG & KB : Gangsta dialog (recorded at Sonic Underground circa 1994)
"Hagglefret" - improvised by Teddy Kumpel (guitar), Bob Stander (guitar), Saul Zonana, ( bass), JT (drums) - Recorded December 28, 2010 at Parcheesi Studios,
Huntington Station, NY
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