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Freeze Dried Baby Surprise

from Dryer Than You'll Ever Be by John Tabacco

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Words and Music © 1998 by John Tabacco
Published by It Iz What It Iz Music (SESAC)

lyrics

FREEZE DRIED BABY SURPRISE

Down in the southern chins of Alabama
Lived a red neck stir fry
Balanced by a case of desperada
And his mama’s moon pie...
Headed upward to Halfbreedchester county
With a Christian money clip that he stole
Swaggered into the Litmus Bar Refresher
Where he dropped his missile
Where he whet his whistle on a

Freeze Dried Baby Surprise
Mulch an unripe tomata in red eye
Little Freeze Dried Baby Surprise
Add a dash of Viagra™ and dry ice
Little Freeze Dried Baby

The beverage mixer behind the pitted counter
Was a charmer of thirteen
Oversexed and a farmer’s spouse and daughter
Her shapely assets were pristine
Our feted furor was smitten by the prospects
Of soilin’ up her lily white fields
And all the dirt that this old boy had been missing
Was suddenly awaken
When another sip was taken of that

Freeze Dried Baby Surprise
Mulch an unripe tomata in red eye
Little Freeze Dried Baby Surprise
Add a dash of Viagra™ and dry ice
Little Freeze Dried Baby Surprise
Like a sun spark penetration at midnight
Little Freeze Dried Baby

His dopey smile soon became contorted
And after a few rounds
He aborted his manual nature
He jumped on over the bar
And tried to squeeze this juicy child
But she grabbed herself a hanger
And plunged it through his neck
And he choked and rolled and stumbled
And as his last breath drew, he mumbled
For another: Freeze...

No paramedic could save this horny redneck
But the ending’s not as down as it seems
His spirit rose up and screamed above the lodging:
“In heaven there’s a nozzle
constantly discharging royal...”

Freeze Dried Baby Surprise
Mulch an unripe tomata in red eye
Little Freeze Dried Baby Surprise
Add a dash of Viagra™ and dry ice
Little Freeze Dried Baby Surprise
Like a sun spark penetration at midnight
Little Freeze Dried Baby - C’mon give it a try

credits

from Dryer Than You'll Ever Be, released September 6, 2014
JT : Vocals, Guitar, Casio Programming
Chris Pati : Stratocaster Abuse

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about

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John Tabacco Stony Brook, New York

John Tabacco is a composer, singer-songwriter, producer, recording engineer, and visual artist.

Like an unfolding musical diary / puzzle, Tabacco’s music and art are constantly being re-worked, juxtaposed and intertwined.

For more info : www.johntabacco.net ... more

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