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If You Leave To Go Outside / Balloon Farting Contest / I Can Hardly Hold My Food Down #1

from Hits Duh Bah Tomb Lion by John Tabacco

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If You Leave To Go Outside : Orig.© 1982 by John Tabacco
This revised version © 2005 by John Tabacco
Pub. by It Iz What It Iz Music (SESAC)
(Recorded at President Street Studios, Centerport, NY)

Balloon Farting Contest © 2013 by John Tabacco
Published by It Iz What It Iz Music (SESAC)

I Can Hardly Hold MY Food Down #1 © 1999 by John Tabacco
Published by It Iz What It Iz Music (SESAC)

lyrics

IF YOU LEAVE TO GO OUTSIDE

If You Leave To Go Outside
If you leave to go outside
They will eat you up alive
And spit out all your mem’ries and savor your sins
Commercialize the secrets you’ve been hiding within
It’s not like you can sue them or do anything
If you leave to go outside, yeah.
If you leave to go outside
Please remember not to cry
That’s what they eat for supper time
And smash your face right into the table
Owwww!

Pseudo Letterman : What a segue.

BALLOON FARTING CONTEST

( Music written for Bradley Thunderbird Phoenix's Montage Radio Theater fades in juxtaposed with Bottom Line music and the melody from “ I Got Style, I Got Class”. All this while...

JT : There are only two days left before the big balloon farting
contest and I want to win first prize. I've been practicing
for this event for 27 years and I think I finally have it down to a science.
I can control the air in my balloon so as to maintain a
relative pitch of A-440 for over three minutes.
The sound doesn't waver and only four of the six gerbils
will actually loose consciousness in the interim.
My advice for those single couples driving in from
Jamestown, New York :
Leave your I Love Lucy inflatables at the door.
Too much Mylar becomes a fire hazard once the hot air
flames reach 600 Celsius.
Remember, we are not messing with cold fusion here,
only a ghost of the real thing.

JT Mockery : Yeah. You’ve given up. You sir have failed.

An authentically sick JT sings :
I can hardly hold my food down
Mayonnaise and Crisco™ grease
Bubbling in my stomach with some meat grinds
Hot dog juice and cold Listerine™ Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

KB : Word?

credits

from Hits Duh Bah Tomb Lion, released September 30, 2014
JT : Vocals, Programming
Teddy Kumpel : Guitar on "I Can Hardly Hold My Food Down".
KB : Word?

license

all rights reserved

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about

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John Tabacco Stony Brook, New York

John Tabacco is a composer, singer-songwriter, producer, recording engineer, and visual artist.

Like an unfolding musical diary / puzzle, Tabacco’s music and art are constantly being re-worked, juxtaposed and intertwined.

For more info : www.johntabacco.net ... more

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