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Words and Music © 2021 by John Tabacco
Published by It Iz What It Iz Music (SESAC)

When my mother was 83 she was still up and around and creative as ever. She used to make miniature dioramas. She spend hundreds of hours creating intricate scenery or sculpting a replica by some Renaissance master or painting in oils or making jewelry for whoever was in her orbit. In her 84th year or so she had a fall in the kitchen and broke her arm. She went into rehab for a month or so and when she came out of it and back home, she was all of a sudden reduced to some little old lady who needed a lot of help getting around. I did not recognize this woman. It's like she aged so quickly it was very disconcerting. From that time on she stopped being creative and eventually ran in to more physical problems until by the ripe old age of 92 she needed to get her gallbladder taken out. Although she survived the operation with flying colors she found herself in and out of re-hab centers and eventually into a home-care facility. All of her creative juices stopped and now she sits in a bed - in limbo just waiting to die. Sad times for those of us who remember such a vibrant - creative soul. I miss that woman.

That little bell sound you hear at the end of this song is a party favor I tied to her walker so I would know when she was up. It's a sound I still hear to this day in my mind. Just a reminder of where I was and how those sad feelings never leave. Not yet anyway.

lyrics

SHE GOT OLD

She got older by the minute
She’s not the child she used to be
She’s tells me “Johnny when once a virgin
I could see the forest from the trees”
But now she sits in her bed so lonely
Looks out a window all cracked and stained

I think it’s time to die (I hear her say)
Maybe die tonight (but first could you make me some coffee)

She breaks apart a piece of chocolate
Stare at a calendar with pictures of dogs
Turns on the TV but mutes the volume
Calls out for help ‘ cause the sound isn’t on
Turns it off when she hears the phone ring
Picks it up - it’s her daughter on the line


Asks the same old tired questions
And says these words all over again…
I think it’s time to die (I hear her say)
Maybe die tonight (but first could you make me some coffee)

credits

from Everything Is Everywhere, released April 1, 2023
JT : Vocal and Acoustic Guitar
Recorded and Mixed at Suburban Hermit Studios II, Stony Brook, NY

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John Tabacco Stony Brook, New York

John Tabacco is a composer, singer-songwriter, producer, recording engineer, and visual artist.

Like an unfolding musical diary / puzzle, Tabacco’s music and art are constantly being re-worked, juxtaposed and intertwined.

For more info : www.johntabacco.net
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