As I drove deeper into the alley, the streetlights flickered ominously, casting eerie shadows on the brick walls. The GPS spoke with it’s usual Siri voice that I had reached my destination. But what could be here? The alley emptied into a deserted court blocked off by a few run-down buildings with broken windows and scattered unintelligible pornographic graffiti.
I put the car in park. A few minutes ticked by. Nothing… My car was still humming. The faint sound of a song I wrote was playing from my iPod. A slight dribble of sweat ran down the side of my face. As I reached over to the glove box for a tissue, out of the corner of my eye I saw what appeared to be a group of hooded figures emerging from the shadows, their faces obscured by the darkness. My blood pressure spiked and my heart began to pound as they surrounded my car, trapping me inside. I tried to reverse, but they had already blocked my way.
One of the figures approached the driver’s door and knocked on the window with just it’s middle finger. I hesitated for a moment before rolling it down, fear gripping me tightly. The figure leaned in, revealing a grotesque, scarred face with deep acne craters.
"Welcome to the Void Market," he said in an inhumanly low voice. "What do you want?"
I was speechless, unsure of what to say. I had never heard of this place before, let alone knew what it was.
The figure chuckled. "Don't be afraid, we won't hurt you... as long as you have something valuable to offer us."
I searched my mind for something, anything that I could offer. But I had nothing of value on me. The hooded figures must have sensed my panic because they began to close in on me, their eyes filled with greed and malice.
Suddenly, a loud piercing noise filled the air, causing the figures to scatter. Twenty or so feet away I saw a mysterious shape clouded by heavy dust standing in the middle of the alley. As the dust cleared I recognized what seem to be a hybrid man horse creature. Some kind of centaur wearing a crimson, mylar coat and displaying a bulbous red nose bouncing like a toy slinky. Two ivory horns protruding from his forehead. In his white rubber gloved hands he held a cardboard box about as small as a commercial toaster. Drawn on the front of the box was the back of a hand “flipping the bird” but crossed out with one of those red no smoking symbols. And below the symbol read the word “Hedge”. The creature looked me dead in the eyes and telepathically spoke to me. This is what I heard as clear as day:
“Hedge, don’t give yourself the finger.”
Now, I’m not a firm believer in synchronistic occurrences but that was a phrase from a song I wrote many decades ago that concurrently was playing in the background through my iPod. It scared the crap out of me! As I was just about to peel out, without warning, the creature threw the small box at my car and a bright rainbow colored light engulfed me. For a second I was blinded but then the light quickly disseminated into tiny pixels. I just sat there dumbfounded. My foot now firmly on the brake, car still humming. I put it back in park. The bizarre centaur was no where to be seen. As I gathered my senses it suddenly occurred to me I was back on Elderberry Wine road, several blocks away from the alley. Not another automobile in sight. The windless night sky filled with only Venus and Jupiter in alignment. I took a deep breath, relieved to have escaped this potentially dangerous situation, but confused as to what had just happened.
Before I put the vehicle in drive I noticed what looked like a black business card wedged in-between my front left wiper. Curious, I got out and plucked the card with all speed. The card read, "Elysium Sin-Corp: Your gateway to alternate realities." It seemed like the Void Market was more than just a sketchy place in this spooky county; it might have been a portal to other worlds. I decided then and there to never trust my GPS blindly again and to always be wary of where it might lead me...
Well you would - you know?
credits
from Artificial Tales Of Gleep And Whimsy (Vol. 2),
released November 6, 2023
JT: Programming, MIx
Colin Filth : Voice
Recorded and Mixed at Suburban Hermit Studios III, Ronkonkoma, NY
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