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Hetero Van Venwick Falls For It Again

from Artificial Tales Of Gleep And Whimsy (Vol. 2) by John Tabacco

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Story © 2023 by John Tabacco
Published by It Iz What It Iz Music (SESAC)
Music © 2023 by Hans Annellsson and John Tabacco
Published by It Iz What It Iz Music (SESAC) / Annellssongs (STIM)

lyrics

HETERO VAN VENWICK FALLS FOR IT AGAIN

If only the Russian nun would glance Van Venwick's way. He had been staring at her shapely derriere for over an hour now and finally ran out of tissues to wipe away the drool that had collected under his chin. She had such an amazing body under that habit. It aroused him to no end - even at this funeral. As the Priest finished his sermon Venwick rose from his pew and silently farted. He did not realize the obvious semen stain near his groin on his white skin tight pants nor the cucumber outlined beneath. The surrounding family members in attendance (nearly passed out from the stink of Venwick’s flatulence) quickly managed to covered the eyes of their children. A big gorilla of a man near the confessional booth, caught wind of the situation and grabbed Venwick by his leather jacket. He threw him out of the church and onto the thorny rose garden along side the marble steps. As Van Venwick lay there in agony, he couldn't help but think that his luck had finally run out. He had always been a bit of a sleazeball, but he never thought he would end up face-down in a rose bush at a funeral. He struggled to his feet and stumbled away from the church, embarrassed and ashamed. He knew he had to make a change, but he didn't know where to start. Maybe he should move to a different city, or join a monastery himself. As he wandered aimlessly through the streets, lost in thought, he heard a familiar voice behind him. It was the Russian nun. He turned around and saw her smiling at him, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "I couldn't help but notice you at the funeral," she said, "you're quite the catch." Van Venwick couldn't believe his luck. He had been dreaming about this moment for hours, and now it was finally happening. He was about to sweep the Russian nun off her feet and imagine a new life with her. But then she spoke again. "I'm actually a man," she said, and burst out laughing. Van Venwick felt like he had been punched in the gut. He couldn't believe he had fallen for it again. This wasn't the first time he had been tricked by a tranny, and he knew it wouldn't be the last. As he walked away, shaking his head in disbelief, he couldn't help but think that maybe it was time to give up on love altogether. It seemed like every time he thought he had found the one, it turned out to be a cruel joke. But then again, maybe he was just too gullible for his own good. Either way, he knew one thing for sure: he was done with nuns.

credits

from Artificial Tales Of Gleep And Whimsy (Vol. 2), released November 6, 2023
JT : F/X, Mix
Father Garcia Gudalupe Hose? : Voice
Recorded and Mixed at Suburban Hermit Studios III, Ronkonkoma, NY
Music : A New Kind Of Love

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John Tabacco Stony Brook, New York

John Tabacco is a composer, singer-songwriter, producer, recording engineer, and visual artist.

Like an unfolding musical diary / puzzle, Tabacco’s music and art are constantly being re-worked, juxtaposed and intertwined.

For more info : www.johntabacco.net ... more

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