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Lucille Ball Rolls With It

from Artificial Tales Of Gleep And Whimsy (Vol. 2) by John Tabacco

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Words and Music © 2023 by John Tabacco
Published by It Iz What It Iz Music (SESAC)

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LUCILLE BALL TAKES A WALK

Lucille Ball power walked out of the studio, her body tired and her mind scattered after a long day of filming. As she looked up at the gray cloudy sky, she couldn't help but feel a sense of dread that rain was imminent. Her left shoe made a crunch sound, and she looked down to find that she had stepped on an unopened pack of Lucky Strike cigarettes. "Well, that's lucky, I guess," she thought to herself, as she lit one up and took a long drag.
Feeling a bit peckish, Lucille decided to stop by a nearby sweets shop to indulge in a piece of fudge. As she savored the delicious chocolatey goodness, she noticed an old woman in a wheelchair pointing to an odd contraption nearby. Curiosity getting the best of her, she jokingly asked the invalid, “Excuse me, but what the hell is that?” The old woman tossed back her long messy hair, spit at the ground and replied, “It’s a machine that rivets oysters for blind fishermen who play the alto saxophone”. “Pretty cool - hah?”
Lucille couldn't help but chuckle to herself. “No fooling?” ”Well, that's a sight you don't see every day,” The old woman cracked her a smile and did an about face negotiating the various potholes that lie ahead. Oh well.
Lucille continued on her way, an inviting breeze blowing up her poke-a-dotted dress. Dancing with depraved abandon through a crowd of Japanese tourists she accidentally bumped into a man who was frantically scrubbing the sidewalk with a toilet brush.
"Watch it lady!" the man grumbled.
Lucille couldn't help but find the situation amusing. "I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to disrupt your cleaning."
The man sighed. "It's alright, I'm used to it. This is my job, you know."
Lucille couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for the poor man. "Well, at least you're doing something useful. I'm just an actress, I don't think I've ever done anything truly useful in my life."
The man shrugged. "I guess we all have our roles to play in this world."
“I suspect as much”, Lucy shot back in her typical raspy tone.
As the minutes ticked on, Lucille couldn't help but think about the seemingly chaotic nature of life. Here she was, a world famous actress, walking around with a newly found pack of Lucky Strike cigarettes, a piece of fudge in her pocket book, an image of a man scrubbing a sidewalk with a toilet brush, a cacophony of Japanese tourists and least she not forget that bizarre, riveting oyster machine for blind fishermen who doubled on sax.
"Good God", she thought to herself, "It's moments like these that make me feel like life is just a big joke." But then again, who was she to say? Maybe it was all just part of the cosmic plan.
As she smoked her last Lucky Strike, the foul stink of a Cuban cigar wafting through a studio window grew stronger and stronger. Out of nowhere a “muffler impaired car” sped by her; the surprise of which, tricked her left shoe to fall squarely on a newly minted dog turd. Gross. Gross! Gross!!
She made an awkward attempt to clean the sole of her shoe using the edge of a curb. The action of which made her mind raced back to the grape stomping episode she did a few weeks back. "Yeah, that was a brilliant comedic moment", she thought to herself. “So what?”
Suddenly the gray skies parted to golden sunshine, and a warm sense of calm fell over Lucille only to be slowly eroded away by a growing cancerous twinge of hatred for her husband Desi.

credits

from Artificial Tales Of Gleep And Whimsy (Vol. 2), released November 6, 2023
JT : Programming, FX
Voice: India Vance
Recorded and Mixed at Suburban Hermit Studios III, Ronkonkoma, NY

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John Tabacco Stony Brook, New York

John Tabacco is a composer, singer-songwriter, producer, recording engineer, and visual artist.

Like an unfolding musical diary / puzzle, Tabacco’s music and art are constantly being re-worked, juxtaposed and intertwined.

For more info : www.johntabacco.net ... more

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