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Story © 2023 by John Tabacco
Published by It Iz What It Iz Music (SESAC)
Based on an original idea by Rick Cashman

lyrics

CLEM’S SKYWRITING DILEMMA

When it came to skywriting, Clem was the best in the business. His plane would leave flawless trails of smoke in the sky that formed words in all shapes and fonts, wowing crowds below. Unfortunately, Clem had a bit of a disconcerting affliction that he tried to keep under wraps. Only his closest friends knew about it. He suffered from Tourette's syndrome, and occasionally, he would involuntarily shout out a string of foul mouthed pornographic words, often so crude and obscene as to get arrested twice at the annual St. Vermouth's Dunkin' Donuts Day parade. At one point though, a doctor prescribed Clem some pistachio gum to chew when holding long conversations. For some reason, this small act seemed to do the trick and Clem could converse curse free! That brings us to the incident that occurred two Summers ago. Clem was hired to do a skywriting display for the opening of the new Amazon warehouse in Two-loser Creek. It was a great paying gig. Clem felt confident as ever as he strapped into his trusty piper cub and elegantly took off into the blue sky. The crowd below looked up in amazement as he began to write out the Amazonian words so fluidly in big beautifully formed letters. As he reached into his shirt pocket for some pistachio gum he realized his pack was empty. Suddenly, Clem's Tourette's kicked in, and he began to shout to himself a string of expletives. To make matters worse and to the horror of the event organizers, the curse words appeared in the actual skywriting itself, spelled out in bold Ariel for all to see. A part of Clem was mortified, but he couldn't stop himself. He continued to write out the curse words between the prepared text he was given. At first, the crowd was shocked and appalled. Parents covered their children's eyes, and the event organizers scrambled to find a way to make Clem stop. But as the skywriting continued, something strange began to happen. People started to laugh.
There was something about the absurdity of the situation that was just too funny to ignore. Soon, the crowd was roaring with laughter, cheering Clem on as he continued to write foul words in the sky. Even the event organizers couldn't help but crack a smile.
In the end, Clem's provocative skywriting display became a big (though somewhat brief) national news story. Consequently, Clem was sent off for some shock treatments and Amazon donated a lifetime supply of pistachio gum to his humble abode. Eventually, he took off into the blue yonder again, where he would perfect his skywriting style (this time in perfect cursive) and also win a few aerial spelling bees in the process.

credits

from Artificial Tales Of Gleep and Whimsy (Vol. 1), released November 1, 2023
JT : FX, Mix
Voice : Ah Clem
Recorded and Mixed at Suburban Hermit Studios III, Ronkonkoma, NY

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John Tabacco Stony Brook, New York

John Tabacco is a composer, singer-songwriter, producer, recording engineer, and visual artist.

Like an unfolding musical diary / puzzle, Tabacco’s music and art are constantly being re-worked, juxtaposed and intertwined.

For more info : www.johntabacco.net ... more

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