Suburban Hermit Musings

by John Tabacco

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1.
CLAM RADIO SAMBA When you're all alone CLAM RADIO When you're feeling low CLAM RADIO And if the bed bugs bite ya don't despair Tune in let us excite ya We still care Or maybe not - maybe not Maybe not That's for you to find out here Far beneath the ocean sun So safe and sound Spinning tunes since 1961 Getting absolutely nothing absotively done! When you're feeling blue CLAM RADIO When ya got nothin' better to do CLAM RADIO And if the doldrums strike ya don't despair Tune in let us ignite ya We'll be here Or maybe not Maybe not Humm? Maybe not That's the beauty of Clam Radio CLAM RADIO CLAM RADIO Can ya dig it
2.
GORGO TWAIN HAS GONE HAWHIN' (Proper) Gorgo Twain has gone Ha-why-in For soiled man's delight - all the chalcid you can eat There's perfect beads of sleep on Sunday water There's perfect ashtray take outs by the sea They have you're special brand of photo's and socks No need for a watch Time is not inflicted in the banyan And best of all they got an existential shower cap eraser guaranteed To lighten up the load! Best of all they got an existential shower cap eraser guaranteed To lighten up the load! Gorgo Twain has gone Hah-why-in For a sweet and sour chassis after four There's perfect jeux to pit against your ego Depends on where and when you drop the straw Ahh, breakfast anytime by the poolside cafe! Exalted soufflés! While ya buster it about with another cutie And best of all they got an existential shower cap eraser guaranteed To lighten up the load! Toads! Best of all they got an existential shower cap eraser guaranteed To lighten up the load! Dyad, spasm, troll Arborizing - Arborizing Dancing on Earth Nice to have our home here Gorgo sez that... Gorgo sez we all should try it once, twice, Christ! Gorgo Twain has gone Hah-why-in For soiled man's delight - all the broccoli you can eat There's perfect beads of sleep on crunchy water There's perfect ashtray take outs by the sea Ahh, breakfast anytime by the poolside cafe! Exalted soufflés! While ya buster it about with another cutie And best of all they got an existential shower cap eraser guaranteed To lighten up the load! Toads! And best of all they got an existential shower cap eraser guaranteed To lighten up the load! Toads! best of all they got an existential shower cap eraser guaranteed To lighten up the load! To lighten up the load! Toads!
3.
TODAY'S A HOLIDAY Today's a holiday and rightly so There's something smellin' good cookin' in the stove Gather around and sing pan' ally" songs They'll be no arguments all day long The weather gal says cloudy skies Though I think she might be a bit blind 'Cause the laughter in this room Makes a beautiful vibe and I'm glad I'm alive Well I don't wanna hear about complaining Save the rest of the year to do that This moment is our piece of heaven on Earth It's time to cool out It's time to get fat Yeah I don't wanna hear about complaining Save the rest of the year to do that This moment is our piece of heaven on Earth It's time to chill out It's time to get fat It's time to forget the debt that you're at Light the sparklers on the deck I know the backyard is an ugly wreck But for now just let us focus in On the fun that we share with our next of kin The weatherman says rainy skies Though I think he might be a bit blind 'Cause the drops are all on him It's a beautiful day so I just wanna say I don't wanna hear about complaining Save the rest of the year to do that This moment is our piece of heaven on Earth It's time to chill out It's time to get fat Yeah, I don't wanna hear about complaining Save the rest of the year to do that This moment is our piece of heaven on Earth It's time to chill out It's time to unlock It's time to ignore those bills in your box Today's a holiday So ease up and ditch the fray Break out and let the good cheer in Grab a cold one it's a win win win Hooray! Well I don't wanna hear about complaining Save the rest of the year to do that This moment is our piece of heaven on Earth It's time to cool out It's time to get fat
4.
Holy Christ! 04:13
HOLY CHRIST Holy Christ I'm goofing off and I don't even care My advice Do what you want before the end is here Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah is what I'm saying It's crazy tryin' to sing some sense, when everything I see is one illusion and the real stuff's beyond the fence I'm not fit enough to jump it I'm not smart enough to see The curve is such an unknown function It makes for a bigger fool than me Holy Christ I'm goofing off and I don't even care My advice Do what you want before the end is near Made a bunch of plans but had to break them for no apparent reason or rhyme I know it pissed you off but I'm not sorry Sometimes I like to change my mind Well, lighten up Francis, you're way to solemn Can't you see that in the end it's a joke? Anything goes (anything goes) Haven't you learned that lesson? Or maybe you like shoveling smoke I'm not opposed to burning bridges No, I'm not opposed to dropping out I'm not opposed to lying sideways And serving you a five course meal of doubt A five course meal of doubt (Club Algeria's sister solo) Holy Christ I'm goofing off and I don't even care My advice Leave all your worries to the billionaires A cloud knows all my social secrets A cloud owns this stupid song My life is just a clouded fragment of what I was Once when I was very young Well, Holy Christ I'm goofing off and I don't even care My advice Do what you want before the end is here Holy Christ Unwrap your dreams and let them in the air Don't think twice Sell off your crypt and pawn you're souvenirs
5.
Last Song 05:14
LAST SONG Did you hear about the singer who was sent to death row 
 
For doing some heinous crimes

 After all the appeals and stays were denied

 The time did finally arrive

 Well they came to his cell and said “Now what would you like for your last meal?”

 He said “Never mind the food." "Just bring me a mic 

and a keyboard." "Preferably real

." He said, “This is my chance to blow you away”. Why suddenly I feel inspired 

You know I’m at my best when I am under the gun

 I can feel my mojo rising

 I don’t know why my life went wrong 

But I repent and condemn my past 

If I could go back and do it again

, this song would not be my last 

 The last song The last words I wanna sing have nothing to do with my baby The last song The last words don't mean a thing I’m just buying time They say that miracles can happen Ah, well ya never know So hand me a microphone! (Please. I'll even do a little soft shoe for ya. Check out my technique. It's so, it's so techneeky) Well he’d been ripped off for years He’d been lied to his face Promises never transpired He said, “They got what was comin’." As his hands hit a chord “If only they’d listen for hire!” Well, the prison guards were duly impressed but not enough to set him free They said, “Son sing your song – be quick – move along." "'Cause we’re getting tired and it’s time to eat." (We're all hungry!) The last song The last words I wanna sing have nothing to do with my baby The last song The last words don’t mean a thing I’m just buying time They say that miracles can happen Hey, well never know (No, wait could you just, could you just bring up the keyboard just a little bit? Yeah, yeah, that good.) The last song The last words I wanna sing have nothing to do with my baby The last song The last words don’t mean a thing I’m just buying time They say that miracles can happen Yeah, ya never know So hand me a microphone! The bailiff : All rise. The music world’s a heartbreak kid the judge was heard to say But that’s no excuse for killing kid as his gavel made it’s way to his sound block You’re crimes may be forgiven son in the after life Ah but here you’ll get the chair and we’re taking all your publishing! Miracles can happen! ( Hey, ya never...Hum... Ah, could I have a little bit more "ME" in the monitor? Ah, yeah, thank you.) The last song The last words I wanna sing have nothing to do with my baby The last song The last words don’t mean a thing I’m just buying time They say that miracles can happen Christ, ya never know So hand me a microphone! Yes Sir!
6.
SOUND OF POSSIBILITIES The jury is out, you’ve got to let it go Stop hurting yourself There's something you should know I pray that a change comes your way Once you were creative but you seem to have strayed The static you feel is a lie Listen very closely can you hear them inside It's the sound of possibilities They’re everywhere and waiting The sounds of possibilities are there The sound of possibilities present themselves so willing When you allow yourself to be in the zone When you allow yourself to come back home A mind that is clear – like a piece of cherry pie Gets right to the point You know you can't deny the beauty of oneness in tune Sharing ideas locking in and out of a groove Cynics will come and will go But you don’t have to listen when they tell you the answer is NO! 'Cause the sounds of possibilities – they’re everywhere and waiting The sounds of possibilities are there The sound of possibilities – present themselves so willing When you allow yourself to be in the zone When you allow yourself to come back home The sounds of possibilities swirling in infinities messing up the Trinity's hair Pumpin' up variety Pissing off mortality when the will to live isn't there The sounds block out all those obstacles trying hard to keep me down They always fuel my motor just before I hit the ground The sound of possibilities they're everywhere and waiting The sounds of possibilities are there The sound of possibilities present themselves so willing When you allow yourself to be in the zone When you allow yourself to come back home When you allow yourself to come back home When you allow yourself to come back home When you allow yourself to come back home When you allow yourself to come back home
7.
WE WON'T TAKE YOUR CRAP We won't take ya crap We won't play yer game We won't wait and let it slide While you shrug off the blame What gives you the right to inflict your dumb beliefs on us Without a fact in sight Do you feel some kind of relief from us To think we'll cower down Well, you got another coming to ya Next time you're in town we're gonna kick your ass! We won't take ya crap We won't play yer game We won't wait and let it slide While you shrug off the blame We won't take ya crap We won't play yer game We won't wait and let it slide While you shrug off the blame Most of us we get along - we work together fair Then you come in and wreck the joint without a bit of care When the bubble bursts and the oil flows you're first to run away Well screw you distant traveler it's time that you should pay We won't take ya crap We won't play yer game We won't wait and let it slide While you shrug off the blame We won't take ya crap We won't play yer game We won't wait and let it slide While you shrug off the blame Some other factions may be fooled by your elegance and style But underneath your velvet words - a viper with a smile Flawed by ego, arrogance, super pride and greed You need a change of attitude That's what we know you need We won't take ya crap We won't play yer game We won't wait and let it slide While you shrug off the blame We don't need your speech We don't need your voice We don't need you telling us that we haven't got a choice! We won't take ya crap We won't play yer game We won't wait and let it slide While you shrug off the blame So many times you've lied you don't know when you are lying You fooled yourself in thinking you're a God But all your house of cards are burning All your covers have been blown Stripped of all your thieves Now the emperor has no clothes! We won't take ya crap We won't play yer game We won't wait and let it slide While you shrug off the blame We don't need your speech We don't need your voice We don't need you telling us That we haven't got a choice! We won't take ya crap We won't play yer game We won't wait and let it slide While you shrug off the blame We won't take ya crap We won't play yer game We won't wait and let it slide While you shrug off the blame We won't take ya crap We won't play yer game We won't wait and let it slide While you shrug off the blame We won't take ya crap We won't play yer game We won't wait and let it slide While you shrug off the blame No. No. No!
8.
A ROMANCE WITH RADIATION Radiation Cripples a nation A nation A nation Fuel rods broken Leaking Smokin' Melting downnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn..... Ouch... Toxic levels in the water In the food Have a nice day...
9.
SUGAR IS THE DEVIL Sugar is the devil Sugar is the devil Gets you hooked, rots your teeth, skin breaks out, gets you fat Makes diabetes 2 your best friend and your arteries to clog and you’ll die from the sweetest heart attack yet.
10.
PETER KEARNS And he doesn’t drink Chinese tea. Peter Kearns! Peter Kearns! Hide the Twinkies, here he comes. Peter Kearns! Saw him at the Chelsea out on the balcony Opening a bottle with the Statue of Liberty. Had a little sip, talked a little history. Peter Kearns! And he lives at the bottom of the world. Peter Kearns! With Michelle as his kiwi girl Not enough horror- Take him down to Amity. Coffee in the car – with a Grand Pa Simpson entity Snap a few pictures- he’s a bigger mystery. Peter Kearns! Grand Pa Simpson: "Just leave me in the car with window opened a crack!" When the Earth shakes his Mac is on the floor But this doesn’t seem to phase him anymore He just picks it up and writes another score Peter Kearns! Peter Kearns! And he really knows all his chords. With a golden voice you can’t ignore Peter Kearns! Peter Kearns! Landed at the airport - sign said "Dalai Lama" Never really met, but no sign of any drama 65 pocketbooks filled with good karma Peter Kearns! Peter Kearns! And he doesn’t drink Chinese tea! Grand Pa Simpson: "Ahh, kill it! Kill it!"
11.
A LEMON WHIRL, PLEASE? Chinese tea That's fine with me Chinese tea Seriously Father Flash : And I'll have a Lemon Whirl to go Margret Inthrax : What? Did you say Lemon Whirl? Father Flash : That's right - a Lemon Whirl! I don't get it this doesn't sound Chinese to me at all! Margret Inthrax : A Strawberry Louise Sandwich? Father Flash : No, it says Lemon Whirl right here on the menu! Margret Inthrax : Sorry we don't have it. What do you mean you don't have it? I spend a lot money here. C'mon!
12.
YOU TAKE ME FOR GRANTED You take me for granted every time I’m by your side You take me for granted it’s a fact I can’t deny Your big idea of romance is to hold me tight and sneeze You take me for granted and all I try to do is please… Margret Inthrax : We all know the Bi-polar bear wears it's sealed moccasins in a snowstorm to sneak up on it's mate But did you know the next closest thing to pulsating salmon attack is the dome button on a Milton Bradley "Trouble" game board? JT : Borax! Margret Inthrax : Bore-ass? Who said anything about Bore-ass? (sneeze) Although I have no fear of losing what I hold so dear You make me second guess the reason for our togetherness (What's the reason?) Yeah, you take me for granted Why do I deserve such luck? Ugghh... Margret Inthrax : I'm going out to buy some reptile dysfunction curtains. Can get you anything to loosen up your pair of Easter hamburgers? JT+ GD : I can't hold it!
13.
IF I HAD A DOLLAR I’m not a stool I’m just a stealthy guy I play the game by myself You think I got it made Somebody tips ya and you’re on your way with a gun in hand tryin’ to track me down I know your subtle breath Your shrouded scent of evil And how you cast all those spells every night Fans think you’ve got it down they think you’re golden But if they knew your true agenda you’d be tarred Every promise in you only leaves a scar If I had a dollar for every time you lied I’d be the toast of the town If I had a dollar for every time you lied I’d be a rich man Off to buy “loss bagels” I’m not cool I’m just a quiet guy There isn’t much I have to say I got my little world the simple things that get me through the day and you’re not welcome anymore I don’t care I broke the lock and changed the door If I had a dollar for every time you lied I’d be the toast of the town If I had a dollar for every time you lied I’d be a rich man Off to buy “loss bagels” Now how can a fool still love you when this fool is certain the love’s lie? Is the fire that’s reigning down on the pilot there to taunt the flame from dying inside? Twisted emotions point to suicide Oh beat me! If I had a dollar for every time you lied I’d be the toast of the town If I had a dollar for every time you lied I’d be a rich man - yeah... If I had a dollar for every time you lied I’d be a rich man I’d be a bitch King Where are the changes? Cold.
14.
Take Me Home 02:36
TAKE ME HOME Take me home If you're willing to cross that line Take me home I can show you a real good time Well, I was walking down that street the other day When I heard her pull up from behind She tossed a glance my way and gave me the "OK" To make some small talk dialog She said so discreetly, "You need to beat me!" Take me home If you're willing to cross that line Take me home If by destiny or design Take me home I'm willing to face my crime Take me home If you don't I may lose my mind Well, I was startled by the looseness of her lips I couldn't think of what to say Then the maid came in and brought me back to Earth Was this a dream or just a game? She said so discreetly, "You need to beat me!" Take me home If you're willing to cross that line Take me home I can show you a real good time Take me home If you're willing to cross that line Take me home If by destiny or design Yeah, by destiny or design What was this abject misery? What was this abject misery? What was this abject misery? What was this abject misery?
15.
DON'T CHEW YOUR FEET Don't Chew Your Feet These are words that I heard her sing to me Don't Chew Your Feet And she sang it in three part harmony Don't Chew Your Feet There is nothing worse than feet without some wine Don't Chew Your Feet Even worse is when you're walkin' over time Don't Chew Your Feet These are words that heard her sing to me Don't Chew Your Feet And she sang it in three part harmony Don't Chew Your Feet There is nothing worse than feet without some wine Don't Chew Your Feet Even worse is when you're walkin' over time Don't Chew Your Feet These are words that I heard her sing to me Don't Chew Your Feet And she sang it in three part harmony Don't Chew Your Feet "Cause there is nothing worse than feet without some wine Don't Chew Your Feet Even worse is when you're walkin' over time Don't Chew Your Feet These are words that I heard her sing to me Don't Chew Your Feet And she sang it in three part harmony Don't Chew Your Feet "Cause there is nothing worse than feet without some wine Don't Chew Your Feet Even worse is when you're walkin' over time
16.
MY BABY'S FULL OF TROUBLES Standin' on the corner in Hawley with a boner I was waiting for my honey to land Up come her GEO that was nosier than Rio With the smell of exhaust in the air She said, "Don't ya even ask!" "My Ex is an ass!" "He won't pay me any time soon." "And I got me this toothache that feels like an earthquake." "It's sending me straight to the moon!" Well, my baby's full of troubles but at night they go away She makes me seeing double with her sexy lingerie Screamin' from the ledge with her brother on the edge There were turkeys and fire on the lawn Nothing but the sound of the XBOX going down like a nuclear war at dawn Cats everywhere just rolling in our hair and an ant or two in my shoe And it's taken every ounce of my sanity just to bounce from a comfortable home to this zoo Well, my baby's full of troubles but at night they go away She makes me seeing double with her sexy lingerie Yeah, my baby's full of troubles but at night they go away - Hey! (Yeah, they go away alright) There's a bear outside and the toilet don't flush And the sink won't drain when I shave The smell of the litter box next to the bath is sending me straight to my grave It's a tree house in the woods with a shag rug that would look normal back in '76 Before they warned us about all those lime disease cases caused by those deer fed ticks! Well, my baby's full of troubles but at night they go away She makes me seeing double with her sexy lingerie Yeah, my baby's full of troubles but at night they go away She makes me seeing double when she lose that negligee And I got not nothing' left to say!
17.
GOODBYE BLUE MONDAY SD: One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock... Pew-cock! JT : Do you wanna love me? Do wanna love me till the end of the world? Do you wanna love me? Do wanna love me till the end of the world? Do you wanna love me? Do wanna love me till the end of the world? Till the end of the world Do you wanna love me? Are you gonna love me? Do you really love me? Till the end of the world... Goodbye blue Monday Say goodbye to me and Kilgore Trout Goodbye blue Monday Time to give you up and spit you out Out! Goodbye! Make me young Make me young "Step out of the triangle into striped light!" The man was not insane Erase the slate and start all over again Vic Caroleo : What'll that be if ya gonna speak like this pops? Goodbye Blue Monday Goodbye to you Goodbye Blue Monday and all your psycho friends Opera lady : Come on a give da not day Come on and give the not day!" Come on a give da not day, there's a maid on fire Promise Holy crap! VC : What'll that be?
18.
THIS FOOL'S ILLUSION Did you know that Jesus loves you? That's what the Bible declares They say he'll light besides you in times of dark despair Well he may be a comfort When you're almost out of moves But should he fail to show up You know where to find me But will I always be there That's something I don't know Will I always love you After it's time to go Does loving you have a reason Or is it chemicals gone wild Should I drop the pretense, top it with a smile And say what I feel It's all an illusion Well I don't want to fool you I've got better things to do with my life I don't want to hurt you You've been hurt before and you followed the signs I don't want to wake you You could use the sleep to dream of a time When everything was cool Find the good in others That's what I heard you say And you'll find the good within yourself And things will be ok Well, maybe this is wisdom I have yet to master down So I will take my selfish motives and go home And live out this life This fool's illusion This fool's illusion This fool's illusion
19.
HATE / INTEGRATED MESS Hate is knowing things can upset you Hate is holding up what has left you Hate is all that love can be When love decides to set you free Hate is when the drums just ignore you Hate is when your life starts to bore you Hate remands a frozen child waiting for the warmth of love to hold it Integrated mess upon a falling tree It is here upon I stress just what has became of me Long ago like yesterday I didn't have a care My time of loafing and having fun made me more aware All the while life seemed so good not a thing could cause distress Had I realized where I stood : Integrated mess!
20.
HANGING BY A THREAD We're all hanging by a thread But still we weave our lives together Though some day we will be dead Some believe there's something better So we fill the closet with campaigns Of pointless dogma and refrains That laugh at us each time the closet opens But we can take a pill for that We're all hanging by a thread But still we weave our lives together Though some day we will be dead Some believe there's something better So we go on and make our plans In the scheme of things and then We tend to worry about the future till it's over And all that wasted time was spent For something we could not prevent But pretty soon we will invent a pill for that Doesn't really matter when you take a vow To live your life and see it through The nature of the universe is moving onward Within and without you This I'm told is truth We're all hanging by a thread But still we weave our lives together Though some day we will be dead Some believe there's something better So we go on and entertain Paint the closet Hide the stain Just ignore the pain Keep the closet bolted That's why we have a pill for that! Well we're hanging by a thread Yeah, we're hanging by a thread We're so we're hanging by a thread And pretty soon our lives are over But does it mean it's the end? Hanging by a thread Hanging by a thread Hanging by a thread Hanging by a thread
21.
THE DRAIN PIPE CARD CONNECTORS In the land of Wasselette there were the drainpipe card connectors. They lay buried in the recesses of the subconscious beneath lamppost and grime. And with the stealth of a Jesus, quiet like cotton pins on a rooftop, they connected holy water with slime. An old priest in the land had succumbed to a deep existential sadness caused by the death of his own flawed philosophy. His suffering was immense. And one afternoon he gathered up his scruples and ventured off towards the token ivory cliffs to have a talk with his maker. “Please help!”, he cried but only his faint echo lamented. “Please help!”, he cried louder but this time his echo was overtaken by the a-rhythmic chirping of a lone cricket. Then once more, “Please help!”. Silence… And just as he was about to take his final leap into the unknown a sudden itch fell upon his right foot begging for a scratch. He involuntarily obliged and as he bent down he spotted a curious drain pipe card. It appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Then another appeared. Then another and another, forming a path along the edge of the cliff. The priest, mesmerized, followed the curious trail of cards with a vigor and determination he had not experienced since puberty. This went on for forty days and forty nights eventually leading him to an old “Chinese replacement warehouse” where he was suspiciously welcomed with open arms. He stayed in that warehouse for the next 11 years, happily fathering several beautiful faucets and an elbow neck. After which he was never heard from again.

about

This CD was created from 2011 - 2012. In this form the tracks were culled from extinct CD "Gaga Over The S.O.P", the old EP "Ephant" and of course "Audio Artifacts For The Dubious Cloud". There is a preponderance of topical lyrics in this collection i.e. The BP oil spill in the Gulf Coast, The Fukushima disaster, Bernie Madoff scandal, the potential dangers of using the "Cloud" etc... Not sure why. I guess these dilemmas were always in my face every time I went on to the internet. Their negative energy was inspiring as well as the encroaching crumbling of my relationship with Susan DeVita. That would be further explored on the next CD "Unfulfilled Shopping Cart Syndrome".

credits

released March 31, 2015

Recorded, Mixed, Edited, and SA3 Mastered by John Tabacco at Suburban Hermit Studios II, Stony Brook, NY

Musical personnel :

JT : Lead vocals, Drums, Bass, Guitar, Programming
Susan DeVita : Vocal
Anthony Pomes : Screaming
Patricia Amendolia : Voice
Steve Briody : Electric guitar
Dave Seigel : Keyboards

CD design : Farben Fosfeen Artwerks

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lx-HNLl9HJM&list=UUq7UDOqXdL6_Zzd6OsmXXYg&index=19

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John Tabacco Stony Brook, New York

John Tabacco is a composer, singer-songwriter, producer, recording engineer, and visual artist.

Like an unfolding musical diary / puzzle, Tabacco’s music and art are constantly being re-worked, juxtaposed and intertwined.

For more info : www.johntabacco.net
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